Four Big Mistakes That Women do that Get in the Way of Commitment They Want From Men

Women always complain of lack of commitment from men. Here are four mistakes we do that get in the way of our commitment they need from men.

Mistake #1: Focusing On Events, Not Feelings

We women are taught to believe that events, and the time we “put in,” MEAN SOMETHING to a man. If he’s introduced us to his family or friends at work we’re on cloud nine. We think of these as “milestones” moving us closer to commitment and marriage. And we couldn’t be more wrong.

Time means NOTHING to a man. Sometimes, being in a comfortable HOLDING PATTERN with us is EXACTLY what he has in mind! They spend time with us, but then they go and commit to someone else.

Unless we can get into our man’s heart, and let him into ours to create a deep emotional bond, we DOOM ourselves to a superficial level that will never lead to a lifelong commitment.

Mistake #2: Thinking Exclusive = Committed

…women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed…
How many of you have been comfortable in a relationship, only to have the man you are with meet someone else, or tell you he’s “found someone who really gets me.” How can it be that a man who is exclusive with you can “fall for” someone else so easily? It’s because he was not committed to you.

Oftentimes, women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed to you. When that happens, he’ll be exclusive AND won’t “fall for” another woman ever again!

Mistake #3: Talking About Your Relationship, Not Creating It

Often when women feel their man becoming distant, they decide to TALK to him about it. To ask how he’s feeling, why he’s acting this way, or where the relationship is going.

When you talk to a man about your relationship, you have the OPPOSITE effect on him than you intend. Though we often hear men say how much they hate how “emotional” women are – this is exactly the part they CRAVE. They are so stuck in their brains, so much of the time, that if we’re stuck in ours, they can’t connect to us.

Every time we TALK about the relationship, it feels to him like a laundry list of to do items instead of INSPIRING a man to want to be with us.

Mistake #4: You Panic… He Leaves

Because we know that “Lifelong-Commitment” is a frightening thing to a man, we’re often afraid to say or do anything that might scare him more.

It’s easy to get paralyzed by fear and anger and stop being ourselves. We stop being the fun, relaxed women who he originally fell for who made him great before.

Ten Steps to Succeed in all you do

I saw this post a couple of years ago, and it challenged and help me with what I do. i will to share them with you as well. happy reading.

Ten steps from Michael

1. Take the first step immediately
Michael is a master at this.  He really taught me how to think straightforward and just act on something. To give you an example, I was pitching him the idea and he asked me, “Yeah man that’ sounds cool.  What would you call it? What would you want to call the product?” I was like, “Masters Blueprint.”  He’s said, “Well that’s a cool name, let me see if that’s available.”  He checked and he immediately registered the domain and set up a blog on it.  It took him 5 minutes and it would have taken me 5 minutes as well but the difference is he just did it and I didn’t.  I would’ve probably gone like, “Yeah man why don’t we think about the name a little bit more and make sure that it’s right for the product.”  He just did it and I loved that about him because it was really easy to take my crazy perfectionist brain out of the game sometimes and it was truly necessary. I learned a lot through that and I aim to take the first step immediately.

2. Focus on your partner’s benefit and how solving your pain point will help you both.

The second lesson was especially important when I was pitching Michael because I approached him and said, “Yeah you know Michael you have this great knowledge, you have this proven system that works and you can replicate.  A lot of people would be interested in it yet I know it also takes you a ton of time and it takes you a lot of effort to do it. That’s where I come in. I always wanted to create a product but never got myself to follow through.”  I can create all of this for you and I think because I’m working with you and your reputation I will get myself to follow through. At the end it will help us your both because we will leverage your network but you don’t have to do a whole lot of work.

I think it was truly instrumental that I also put my pain point I there because if I was going to be, “Yeah man that’s so awesome for you. These are all the results you’d get.” Then at the same time he would be suspicious asking himself. “Why would you do that? Why are you offering this to me?”  I also aim for always saying your pain point and how it will help you both because it will give them a reason to say yeah man I see why he’s approaching me.  At the same time he’ll also know it will help people.  Most people are really willing to help especially Michael.

3. Make an irresistible offer.
The next lesson I learned was to make an irresistible offer.  Always think of the things that the people care most about. Michael cares most about his time because he already has enough money to fund his lifestyle. Make an irresistible offer that won’t take them a lot of effort to say yes to. Get rid of the objections. I said I was going to cover the production costs; I was going to fly over to your place and shoot it. You don’t have to come to me I’ll just chill out with you.  All these things make it easy for him to say yes.

4. Be brutally honest and hold yourself to high standards.
I’m from Germany as I said and we have a very direct standard of approaching problems, so I really liked that he just said straight out, “I like this, the header is great. This cover sucks it doesn’t look very nice. I know what you can do; you do what you did with the other website that looked brilliant.” He held me to high standards and pushed me to do better, which really allowed me to give my best.

5. Don’t BS yourself! It may not be complex but it’s not always easy.
We all know this, yet I went into the project thinking I know web design, I know how to cut videos, I know how to shoot videos. I know all this stuff that we need to do so it’s going to be easy…

 Then again even if you know all these things, it still is hard sometimes because there are days when you just don’t want to anymore.

It’s like “oh my god another error, another video to cut, another thing to do.” Even if it’s nothing spectacularly difficulty or complex and you even know how to do it.  You’re annoyed, sometimes you’re not motivated and I think it’s not always easy but you really need to focus on the right things, push yourself through. I listen to a lot of great entrepreneurial books and listen to a lot of great speakers, motivational stuff and also talk to Michael and my other mentors through it and just did that. It truly helped me but just be aware of it don’t go in with the expectations that it’s going to be very easy because then you’re going to bump into the first road block. I think for the next project I will definitely keep that in mind and go into the expectation knowing that it will suck at times. At the same time I know I have the ability to push through and it’s well worth pushing through.

6. Strategize everything on PAPER.
Lesson six I strategize everything on paper.  This was huge for me because while I love technology and I’m quite a tech geek. I love hanging around on all the forums and all of the blogs, and just reading what people say and learn a lot of things from technology- there is a time when it’s better to be off line. I surprisingly found that the longer I spent off line strategizing everything I wanted to get done on the day or in the project or the weeks on paper, the more effective I was.  Way more effective.

What I do now is every day I journal on things and prepare my actions. It may just be some simple things like the layout of the website, or where a button should be, or which colour something should be.  It’s just amazing what paper can do for you if you just get off the computer for a while and go back in with a lot more clarity.

7. Schedule your time wisely and embrace RULES.
Even though we all want to have the freedom and lifestyle to be able to do whatever we want, I think what we ultimately want is still have some sort of freedom to choose but set rules ourselves.  We ultimately don’t want to live without rules. They may work for a while, while you’re on vacation or something but ultimately you need rules especially if you want to be productive and get something done.

I always had a pretty tight schedule some weeks it was more planned out than others but in general I set a schedule and I have my rules.  For example the biggest rule for me was no e-mail prior to noon and to that day I still keep that rule and because it just helps tremendously to get things done before you check your e-mail.

8. GET a Mentor! BE a Mentor!
Then number eight, get a mentor and be a mentor. As I said I worked together with Michael and I also worked together with Clive our copywriter. Both of them are tremendous mentors of mine. They helped me a lot on various aspects of the project. Also they keep you not only accountable but they really can give you feedback and perspective on a lot of things.  You can just bounce back ideas from them, but at the same time you need to remember that all of these people, as amazing as they are, they all have their challenges. They all have their imperfections and don’t know everything. They need some advice as well.

This works for everyone because no one is perfect.  Once you understand and accept that then you also know that everyone can need help and that you always know something that will help them because they don’t know it. It could just be a fresh perspective on something, but really make sure that you embrace that and help them out.

9. Set 2 deadlines.
Lesson number nine, set two deadlines. This was something that came across more or less by accident. Michael wanted to set a deadline roughly four weeks prior to launch we set a deadline. I was pushing for the quick deadline because I know that I get myself to follow through a lot better when I have a short and really tight deadline.

He came up with the idea of, “Well let’s do an internal launch first without a lot of affiliates or no affiliates at all, and then push out to the official launch.” I pushed for having another deadline way earlier and I think that was great, because now I got myself to follow through a lot better and pushed hard and worked a lot of hours to get this done. Ultimately what ended up happening was that we missed the internal launch deadline, we missed it completely but we were ready for the official launch.  I think if we wouldn’t have had the first deadline in the first place, we would have just missed both deadlines.

It was great having the second deadline where you have to deliver but it’s without a huge risk. It would just have a benefit. It would have been cool if we would have been able to launch earlier but at the same time now there’s no real risk involved. That was tremendously helpful and I aim to use that in other projects like my study papers at the university or other things as well.

10. Do it once and you can do it forever!
Then the last lesson, do it once and you can do it forever.  The project was so worth it for me just as a personal experience, because I’ve grown so much I think throughout the whole project. I’ve proven to myself that I can do it and that is the biggest aspect of it. I’ve learned a lot, I’ve honed my craft in design and it all came together nicely. I’m very proud of the product and I also think I’ve done a great shift in my mindset.  Because now I have a new belief that says that I can freaking do it.

Before it was like you know whenever I wanted to do something my mind would like “yell yeah remember the time when you screwed up this thing? When you procrastinate when you said you would do this and you had this great idea but you didn’t do anything on it?  Now I say, well you know when you did that that was really cool.  Like you finished it and you did a great job on it and I think that was so helpful.  Now with that new belief I can build on this and I can push through much more easily on new projects because I have completed it.

This were some of the biggest lessons that I learned from Michael over the past months, I hope they’ve been helpful to you.  It has definitely been a great experience so far, I am proud and really excited about how the product is going to do in the long run. I have learned a tremendous amount and…

DON’T IN YOUR IGNORANCE KILL YOUR BENEFACTOR.

Photo Credit:Foreword Reviews

 

There was an aged artist who lived in a small village. The man used to design beautiful artistic works to be sold at an attractive price

One day, a poor man among the villagers challenged the old man saying: You earn a lot of money from your handiwork but why don’t you assist indigent people in the village?

Cant you see the butcher who is not as rich as you are, but still shares free meat to the destitute people in the village.
Also, look at the village baker, a poor man with a large family, yet he gives the poor people free loaves of bread.

The artist did not respond angrily to the challenges, rather just smiled .

The poor man was so confused about the reaction of the artist so he left him and went out spreading rumors that the artist was so rich, but he was a stingy person who only accumulated wealth and refused to help less privileged. The entire villagers took vengeance, they broke away from the old artist man and they all forsook him.

In a mean time, the aged artist was sick but nobody among the villagers cared to visit him, therefore he died a lonely man.

The days passed by, the villagers observed that the butcher stopped free distribution of meat and the baker could not give the destitute people free loaves of bread any more, despite their continuous trooping to the bakery and their hope to have something to eat.

When both (the butcher and the baker) were asked the reason behind the sudden cut off of the welfare to the villagers, they said that: ” the elderly artist who used to donate a large sum of money every month to share free meat and loaves of bread to the poor people in the village has died, so the welfare has to stop.”

Actually, many people may have wrong impression about you while others may have different opinions, none of them could benefit nor harm your good intention.

Therefore, don’t pass judgment on any one based on his physical appearance. There are things about his personal life, if you were privileged to know, your judgement would surely be different.

For example, a man died at nightspot/ dance hall.

The other person died in the mosque/Church.

The first person entered the dance hall with intention to preach to them (against indecency)

The second person entered the mosque/Church to steal money or bags.

For this reason, you and I can not decide who enters heaven nor who enters hell-fire. Fear God in privacy and fear God in the open. Human physical appearance is a deception, therefore, forgive, pardon and ignore people’s iniquities. Pray for God’s guidance on erring people. Be good to everybody, don’t cut off your relationship with a person who does not please you. Establish unity and harmony with people, God will love you and people will love you too. The Lord Who created the souls, knows what the souls conceals.

I found this story very insightful and I think I should share

Child Bride

 

Photo credit. unfpa.org

Under age marriage.

Talking about underage marriage, in Africa we are the center of underage marriage in the world.

I am from Nigeria and I live in the North Western Nigeria (am from the North Eastern part of Nigeria), and the North West is where underage marriage is mostly practice.

I stay in Sokoto where underage marriage is a norm and not seen as bad, Sokoto have a very high cases of women living with Vesicular Virginal Fistula (VVF).

Underage marriage is a marriage between one of the two (or both) person involve in the marriage contract or agreements. I am looking at underage marriage not in the context of birth age (18 being legal or official), but looking at the persons as not being matured physiologically. Mentally, physically, and emotionally not being matured is also tagged as being underage. The girl child are mostly the most affected by this.

I am writing about underage marriage, I was in a village in Sokoto for a research work, and my guide a young boy of about 9 – 11 years of age said a statement that almost brought tears to my eyes.

Faruku and his friend saw a small girl passing by and his friend said “har anyi ma yarinya nan wanka” which means this in English “This girl has already been married off”. Then Faruku said they are just suffering this girl, they went ahead to talked about other young girls who are even in their matrimonial homes.

These young boys feel bad about the underage marriage, what saddens me was a young man who was with us and he sees nothing wrong with the girls being married off ag that young age, he is even trying to defend the practice and fault those you boys and being boys and don’t know anything yet. During this discussion a lot was going on in my mind and here are a few of them.

1. How do these young boys know that these girls are too young for marriage?
2. How come this young man don’t see the evil of this practice?
3. Are these young boys truly too young to know what is marriage?
4. Will they still hold on to this believe as they grow up as underage marriage is bad?
5. How come the people of this community welcome such a practice?

As I finished my work and headed back home I was just disturbed in my spirit and I remember when I visit Maryam Abatcha Women and Children Hospital Sokoto, I saw so many women young girls most of them about 13 – 15 years of age suffering from VVF. I begin to wonder how did they get to this state and what is the solution?

I think more awareness and enlightenment and sex/reproductive health education has to be intensify to get everyone aware and enlighten. Leaders and elders of the communities need to be involve in this awareness campaign.

I pray there will be more voices who will  rise up and speak about this.

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

Photo Credit: Pixel.com

I saw this few reasons on way to read book and I will love to share with you.

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

1. Books help you to feel more confident.

2. Books help you to travel around the world in the cheapest way.

3. Books develop your personality.

4. Books provide food for thought.

5. Books make you laugh and think.

6. Books draw you towards perfection.

7. Books stimulate creativity.

8. Books bring out writing talent.

9. Books help you in communicating.

10. Books clear your vision.

11. Books satisfy your curiosity.

12. Books help you make better choices.

13. Books help you build literary talent.

14. Books do not require any special device to teach.

15. Books increase your attention span.

16. Books are fruitful pastime.

17. Books can be used anytime, anywhere.

18. Books provide entertainment, when others fail.

19. Books make you powerful.

20. Books help you know the ‘Whys’ and ‘Hows’ of everything.

21. Books help you to create and spread fun.

22. Books help you travel across time intelligently.

23. Books keep you updated with facts and figures.

24. Books spread love, affection and knowledge.

25. Books make the best of friends.

26. Books take you to intellectual environment.

27. Books help you feel the world around you.

28. Books entertain your mind.

29. Books broaden your horizon.

30. Books bring Nature to your doorstep.

31. Books bring about a ‘personality change’.

32. Books increase comprehension.

33. Books do not require company.

34. Books are stress-busters.

35. Books develop a sense of belonging to people around you.

36. Books provide mental and physical relaxation.

37. Books act as a communication tool.

38. Books are intellectually satisfying activity.

39. Books provide spiritual experience.

40. Books provide emotional strength.

41. Books build your self-esteem.

42. Books help and encourage your imagination to soar.

43. Books make you smarter and wiser.

44. Books help you grow.

45. Books take you to a ‘world of dreams’.

46. Books can change your life and vision.

47. Books help you in achieving ‘life goals’.

48. Books develop wonderful experience.

49. Books transform lives.

50. Books inspire, books motivate, books build nations.

We challenge you to start reading books and not just storing them!

Credit: Dickson Udems

IF YOU WANT TO BE RICH, DON’T GO TO SCHOOL. READ THIS ARTICLE INSTEAD…

I saw this on the facebook timeline of a beloved friend and a brother who’s facebook page is full of inspiration and motivational. Chukwuemeka Michael Eze

IF YOU WANT TO BE RICH, DON’T GO TO SCHOOL. READ THIS ARTICLE INSTEAD…

The school does not teach people how to be rich. they only teach you how to work for others and earn wages. they make you into a banker, doctor, engineer, teacher and all those beautiful names such as you have as well.

And everyone who goes through the school system ends up working for the rich who own the establishments and corporations. most of them aren’t as educated. they have however, mastered the art of hiring the most educated and best professionals to work for them.

Does all aircraft owners know how to fly an aircraft? no! but they know how to hire the best of pilots who have been prepared by the school system to serve the rich, and get paid for their services. But the airline or aircraft owners make billions of dollars in profit from the hard work of the pilots and other employees they have to pay a few thousand dollars in wages, and salaries and one month of paid leave. hahahaha….

Was this why Robert Kiyosaki the author of the book “Rich dad, poor dad” wrote a book which he titled: “if you want to be rich, don’t go to school”?
He wasn’t telling people not to get educated, he was in essence stressing emphatically that the school is not a place to learn how to become rich.

What then makes people rich?
for me, I will say it is the ability to solve problems that makes people rich.
Money is a reward for problems solved or value created. Let’s say you have to get home from work, or you need to move from point A to Point B, you will sure look for a means to get to your destination.

Be it by bus, taxi, Uber or buying a Mercedes Benz Car. whoever solves this need, you will have to pay a commensurate value of money for services rendered, same applies for products sold to satisfy a need. likewise, if you have to help others solve their problems, you will get a monetary value in return which over time, accumulates into wealth.

Be it as it may, you do not get rich because you went to school, or because you speak eloquently, or can make good grammatical construction. No!
you get rich because you are able to solve problems by creating value.

Everyone has needs (problems) as well as monies allocated to solve these problems. (remember how you allocate your next salary even before pay day?)
yes that’s what I’m talking about.

Thus, whoever provides solutions for those needs receives all the monies allocated to solving those needs as an exchange or reward for products offered and services rendered.

Finally, you may want to think about a way to create value and solve problems in your society. it could be about food shortage, water supply, health, fashion, communication, entertainment, education, beauty, and the list is endless.

When you have identified a problem or need which you have a passion for, you must proceed to getting sufficient knowledge about solving it. this may be some hard work or cost you some weeks

rch that ought to be made. but when you are done and able to lunch your solution into the society, people will reward you for your time and hard-work by paying for the value you have created.

This is the sure path to becoming rich. it is by creating value and solving problems.

——–Chukwuemeka Michael Eze

Note: the above article does not intend in anyway to discourage people from having a job or going to school. It is for the very few who has questions on how to be rich.

Like

Bus or Taxi Driver

Photo Credit: Google

I have come to understand that we have two (2) kinds of people in this world;

1. Taxi drivers
2. Bus drivers

A Taxi Driver doesn’t have destination. His movement is determined by the people he meets on the way. Even if he’s coming from a particular address and meets a passenger heading the same way, he will make a U-turn and head back there.

A Bus Driver has a route, a destination. If u aren’t heading his way, he won’t pick u. If u mistakenly get on board without checking with his conductor, you will either get off after paying the fare or end up in his destination

Who are you?

Is your life determined by people’s choices or yours?

Are you a bus or taxi driver?

Be focused!

Have a great week

Blessed is He Whom God Helps

It’s about God not humans …..Long time ago there lived a great king and two beggars who always stood at the gate of his palace everyday.

As the king rode by everyday, the 1st beggar would say ‘blessed is he whom the king helps’ while the 2nd beggar would say ‘blessed is he whom God helps’.

The king always felt pleased to hear the praise of the 1st beggar.

One evening the king decided to reward the 1st beggar for all the praise; he ordered his baker to bake a cake and wrap precious stones inside the cake.

The next day as he rode by, he gave the cake to the 1st beggar as he hailed him as usual.

The 1st beggar who was in dire need of cash sold the cake to the 2nd beggar at next to nothing.

When the 2nd beggar cut open the cake he saw the precious stones, sold them and became a wealthy man.

He did not return back to the kings gate the next day.

As the king rode out of his palace the next day, he saw the 1st beggar still asking for alms and stopped to ask him if he ate the cake he gave him.

The 1st beggar replied and said no sir, I sold it to my friend who was here with me yesterday; I have not seen him today.

The king continued his journey, telling everybody he met saying it is true that blessed is he that God helps.

Our God is the all knowing God, HE has not forgotten you. HE is always just in time.

Have a blessed and creative day ahead!

The Bathtub Test

Did you ever know that there is actually a test that can be given to you in a bathtub to see how sane you are?

During a recent visit to a mental asylum, I asked the director, “How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?”

“Well”, said the director, “We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a tea cup and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I see, so a normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or tea cup” I replied.

“No”, said the director, “a normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?”

Hope you enjoyed the smile and the laugh. Spread the joy with others today!!