Four Big Mistakes That Women do that Get in the Way of Commitment They Want From Men

Women always complain of lack of commitment from men. Here are four mistakes we do that get in the way of our commitment they need from men.

Mistake #1: Focusing On Events, Not Feelings

We women are taught to believe that events, and the time we “put in,” MEAN SOMETHING to a man. If he’s introduced us to his family or friends at work we’re on cloud nine. We think of these as “milestones” moving us closer to commitment and marriage. And we couldn’t be more wrong.

Time means NOTHING to a man. Sometimes, being in a comfortable HOLDING PATTERN with us is EXACTLY what he has in mind! They spend time with us, but then they go and commit to someone else.

Unless we can get into our man’s heart, and let him into ours to create a deep emotional bond, we DOOM ourselves to a superficial level that will never lead to a lifelong commitment.

Mistake #2: Thinking Exclusive = Committed

…women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed…
How many of you have been comfortable in a relationship, only to have the man you are with meet someone else, or tell you he’s “found someone who really gets me.” How can it be that a man who is exclusive with you can “fall for” someone else so easily? It’s because he was not committed to you.

Oftentimes, women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed to you. When that happens, he’ll be exclusive AND won’t “fall for” another woman ever again!

Mistake #3: Talking About Your Relationship, Not Creating It

Often when women feel their man becoming distant, they decide to TALK to him about it. To ask how he’s feeling, why he’s acting this way, or where the relationship is going.

When you talk to a man about your relationship, you have the OPPOSITE effect on him than you intend. Though we often hear men say how much they hate how “emotional” women are – this is exactly the part they CRAVE. They are so stuck in their brains, so much of the time, that if we’re stuck in ours, they can’t connect to us.

Every time we TALK about the relationship, it feels to him like a laundry list of to do items instead of INSPIRING a man to want to be with us.

Mistake #4: You Panic… He Leaves

Because we know that “Lifelong-Commitment” is a frightening thing to a man, we’re often afraid to say or do anything that might scare him more.

It’s easy to get paralyzed by fear and anger and stop being ourselves. We stop being the fun, relaxed women who he originally fell for who made him great before.

DON’T IN YOUR IGNORANCE KILL YOUR BENEFACTOR.

Photo Credit:Foreword Reviews

 

There was an aged artist who lived in a small village. The man used to design beautiful artistic works to be sold at an attractive price

One day, a poor man among the villagers challenged the old man saying: You earn a lot of money from your handiwork but why don’t you assist indigent people in the village?

Cant you see the butcher who is not as rich as you are, but still shares free meat to the destitute people in the village.
Also, look at the village baker, a poor man with a large family, yet he gives the poor people free loaves of bread.

The artist did not respond angrily to the challenges, rather just smiled .

The poor man was so confused about the reaction of the artist so he left him and went out spreading rumors that the artist was so rich, but he was a stingy person who only accumulated wealth and refused to help less privileged. The entire villagers took vengeance, they broke away from the old artist man and they all forsook him.

In a mean time, the aged artist was sick but nobody among the villagers cared to visit him, therefore he died a lonely man.

The days passed by, the villagers observed that the butcher stopped free distribution of meat and the baker could not give the destitute people free loaves of bread any more, despite their continuous trooping to the bakery and their hope to have something to eat.

When both (the butcher and the baker) were asked the reason behind the sudden cut off of the welfare to the villagers, they said that: ” the elderly artist who used to donate a large sum of money every month to share free meat and loaves of bread to the poor people in the village has died, so the welfare has to stop.”

Actually, many people may have wrong impression about you while others may have different opinions, none of them could benefit nor harm your good intention.

Therefore, don’t pass judgment on any one based on his physical appearance. There are things about his personal life, if you were privileged to know, your judgement would surely be different.

For example, a man died at nightspot/ dance hall.

The other person died in the mosque/Church.

The first person entered the dance hall with intention to preach to them (against indecency)

The second person entered the mosque/Church to steal money or bags.

For this reason, you and I can not decide who enters heaven nor who enters hell-fire. Fear God in privacy and fear God in the open. Human physical appearance is a deception, therefore, forgive, pardon and ignore people’s iniquities. Pray for God’s guidance on erring people. Be good to everybody, don’t cut off your relationship with a person who does not please you. Establish unity and harmony with people, God will love you and people will love you too. The Lord Who created the souls, knows what the souls conceals.

I found this story very insightful and I think I should share

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

Photo Credit: Pixel.com

I saw this few reasons on way to read book and I will love to share with you.

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

1. Books help you to feel more confident.

2. Books help you to travel around the world in the cheapest way.

3. Books develop your personality.

4. Books provide food for thought.

5. Books make you laugh and think.

6. Books draw you towards perfection.

7. Books stimulate creativity.

8. Books bring out writing talent.

9. Books help you in communicating.

10. Books clear your vision.

11. Books satisfy your curiosity.

12. Books help you make better choices.

13. Books help you build literary talent.

14. Books do not require any special device to teach.

15. Books increase your attention span.

16. Books are fruitful pastime.

17. Books can be used anytime, anywhere.

18. Books provide entertainment, when others fail.

19. Books make you powerful.

20. Books help you know the ‘Whys’ and ‘Hows’ of everything.

21. Books help you to create and spread fun.

22. Books help you travel across time intelligently.

23. Books keep you updated with facts and figures.

24. Books spread love, affection and knowledge.

25. Books make the best of friends.

26. Books take you to intellectual environment.

27. Books help you feel the world around you.

28. Books entertain your mind.

29. Books broaden your horizon.

30. Books bring Nature to your doorstep.

31. Books bring about a ‘personality change’.

32. Books increase comprehension.

33. Books do not require company.

34. Books are stress-busters.

35. Books develop a sense of belonging to people around you.

36. Books provide mental and physical relaxation.

37. Books act as a communication tool.

38. Books are intellectually satisfying activity.

39. Books provide spiritual experience.

40. Books provide emotional strength.

41. Books build your self-esteem.

42. Books help and encourage your imagination to soar.

43. Books make you smarter and wiser.

44. Books help you grow.

45. Books take you to a ‘world of dreams’.

46. Books can change your life and vision.

47. Books help you in achieving ‘life goals’.

48. Books develop wonderful experience.

49. Books transform lives.

50. Books inspire, books motivate, books build nations.

We challenge you to start reading books and not just storing them!

Credit: Dickson Udems

IF YOU WANT TO BE RICH, DON’T GO TO SCHOOL. READ THIS ARTICLE INSTEAD…

I saw this on the facebook timeline of a beloved friend and a brother who’s facebook page is full of inspiration and motivational. Chukwuemeka Michael Eze

IF YOU WANT TO BE RICH, DON’T GO TO SCHOOL. READ THIS ARTICLE INSTEAD…

The school does not teach people how to be rich. they only teach you how to work for others and earn wages. they make you into a banker, doctor, engineer, teacher and all those beautiful names such as you have as well.

And everyone who goes through the school system ends up working for the rich who own the establishments and corporations. most of them aren’t as educated. they have however, mastered the art of hiring the most educated and best professionals to work for them.

Does all aircraft owners know how to fly an aircraft? no! but they know how to hire the best of pilots who have been prepared by the school system to serve the rich, and get paid for their services. But the airline or aircraft owners make billions of dollars in profit from the hard work of the pilots and other employees they have to pay a few thousand dollars in wages, and salaries and one month of paid leave. hahahaha….

Was this why Robert Kiyosaki the author of the book “Rich dad, poor dad” wrote a book which he titled: “if you want to be rich, don’t go to school”?
He wasn’t telling people not to get educated, he was in essence stressing emphatically that the school is not a place to learn how to become rich.

What then makes people rich?
for me, I will say it is the ability to solve problems that makes people rich.
Money is a reward for problems solved or value created. Let’s say you have to get home from work, or you need to move from point A to Point B, you will sure look for a means to get to your destination.

Be it by bus, taxi, Uber or buying a Mercedes Benz Car. whoever solves this need, you will have to pay a commensurate value of money for services rendered, same applies for products sold to satisfy a need. likewise, if you have to help others solve their problems, you will get a monetary value in return which over time, accumulates into wealth.

Be it as it may, you do not get rich because you went to school, or because you speak eloquently, or can make good grammatical construction. No!
you get rich because you are able to solve problems by creating value.

Everyone has needs (problems) as well as monies allocated to solve these problems. (remember how you allocate your next salary even before pay day?)
yes that’s what I’m talking about.

Thus, whoever provides solutions for those needs receives all the monies allocated to solving those needs as an exchange or reward for products offered and services rendered.

Finally, you may want to think about a way to create value and solve problems in your society. it could be about food shortage, water supply, health, fashion, communication, entertainment, education, beauty, and the list is endless.

When you have identified a problem or need which you have a passion for, you must proceed to getting sufficient knowledge about solving it. this may be some hard work or cost you some weeks

rch that ought to be made. but when you are done and able to lunch your solution into the society, people will reward you for your time and hard-work by paying for the value you have created.

This is the sure path to becoming rich. it is by creating value and solving problems.

——–Chukwuemeka Michael Eze

Note: the above article does not intend in anyway to discourage people from having a job or going to school. It is for the very few who has questions on how to be rich.

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Blessed is He Whom God Helps

It’s about God not humans …..Long time ago there lived a great king and two beggars who always stood at the gate of his palace everyday.

As the king rode by everyday, the 1st beggar would say ‘blessed is he whom the king helps’ while the 2nd beggar would say ‘blessed is he whom God helps’.

The king always felt pleased to hear the praise of the 1st beggar.

One evening the king decided to reward the 1st beggar for all the praise; he ordered his baker to bake a cake and wrap precious stones inside the cake.

The next day as he rode by, he gave the cake to the 1st beggar as he hailed him as usual.

The 1st beggar who was in dire need of cash sold the cake to the 2nd beggar at next to nothing.

When the 2nd beggar cut open the cake he saw the precious stones, sold them and became a wealthy man.

He did not return back to the kings gate the next day.

As the king rode out of his palace the next day, he saw the 1st beggar still asking for alms and stopped to ask him if he ate the cake he gave him.

The 1st beggar replied and said no sir, I sold it to my friend who was here with me yesterday; I have not seen him today.

The king continued his journey, telling everybody he met saying it is true that blessed is he that God helps.

Our God is the all knowing God, HE has not forgotten you. HE is always just in time.

Have a blessed and creative day ahead!

Ways That We Unknowingly Hurt Our Spouse

I got this from Creflo Dollar ministry Weekly grace and I will love to share with my readers.
 
Dear Reader
 
The title of today’s devotional may have piqued your interest.
 
Many times in relationships, especially marriages, people focus on themselves and what they are getting from their spouse with very little time spent considering how they may be causing or perpetuating some of the issues in their relationship. Most, if not all, of the issues stem from self‑centeredness. Self-centeredness opens the door to grief, offense, hurt, and many other problems, including these seven ways that many husbands and wives injure each other:
 
Seven ways a wife injures her husband unknowingly:
1. Putting him down and criticizing him in front of others
2. Going behind him when he does something at home
3. Badgering him constantly
4. Using the “you always” phrase
5. Holding him responsible for her emotional well-being
6. Complaining about what she does not have or does not get to do
7. Showing no appreciation for his efforts
 
Seven ways a husband injures his wife unknowingly:
1. Cuts her out of the discussion
2. Fails to notice the difference she makes
3. Underestimates the small things
4. Speaks curtly or rudely, talks down to her
5. Corrects her as she is talking
6. Acts suspiciously or tries to hide information from her
7. Admires other women over her
 
When we are self‑centered, we ignore the needs of others and only focus on our own. Husbands and wives can injure each other without being aware of it because all they are focused on are themselves, rather than the other person in the marriage. Take some time this week to disregard what has been said or done to you and really consider the other person’s needs. Commit to allowing God to use you to be a blessing to them however He sees fit.
 
Prayer for Today
Father, we humble ourselves under Your mighty hand, asking You to use us to be a blessing to our spouse or loved one this week. Show us ways to honor and not hurt them, regardless of what they have or have not done. Help us walk in love and forgiveness. We can do nothing apart from You and we believe that, as we walk in love, they will experience who You are in us and be forever changed for the better. It is in Jesus’ name that we pray and believe.
 
Amen.
 
 
 
Scripture References
Hebrews 12:14‑16 | Proverbs 17:14 | Mark 8:34 | Philippians 2:3 | John 14:2 | Proverbs 13:10 | 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, AMP

How to Let Go: The 4 People You Must Forgive To Stay Happy

There are four people you need to forgive if you are serious about changing your life and learning how to live in the now.

The first are your parents, living or dead. You must absolutely forgive them for every mistake they ever made in bringing you up. At the very least, you should be grateful to them for giving you life. They got you here. If you are happy to be alive, you can forgive them for everything else. Never complain about them again.

By not forgiving your parents, you remain forever a child. You block your own chance to grow up and become a fully functioning adult. You continue to see yourself as a victim. Even worse, you keep your negative feelings of inferiority and anger alive. If your parents die without your having forgiven them, it can bother you for the rest of your life.

The second person or persons you must forgive are the people from your marriages or relationships that didn’t work out. These intimate relationships can be so intense, and so threatening to your feelings of self-esteem and self-worth, that you can be angry and unforgiving toward those people for years.

But you were at least partially responsible. Have the personal strength and integrity to say, “I am responsible,” and then forgive the other person and let him or her go. Say the words, “I forgive him/her for everything and I wish him/her well.” Each time you repeat this, the negative emotion attached to the memory will diminish. Soon it will be gone forever.

Many have found that “the letter” is the key to putting a bad relationship behind them forever. This is a powerful technique that can free you from feelings of anger and resentment almost instantly.

Here is how it works: You to sit down and write the other person a letter of forgiveness. It consists of three parts.

First you say, “I forgive you for everything you ever did that hurt me.”

Second, you write out a description or list of every single thing that you are still mad about. Some people write several pages in this part.

Third, you end the letter with the words, “I wish you well.”

You then take the letter to the mailbox and drop it in. At that moment, you will feel a huge sense of relief, and you will be free at last.

By the way, don’t worry about how the other person might react. That is not your concern. Your goal is to free yourself, to regain your peace of mind, and to get on with the wonderful life that lies ahead of you.

The third person you must forgive is everyone else in your life who has ever hurt you in any way. Let them go. Forgive every boss, business partner, friend, crook or betrayer who has ever caused you grief of any kind. Clean the slate and forgive to forget. Wipe each of their names and images off by saying, “I forgive him/her for everything, and I wish him/her well.” Repeat this statement each time you think of the person or situation until the negative feelings are gone.

The fourth and final person you have to forgive is yourself. You must absolutely forgive yourself for every silly, senseless, wicked, brainless, thoughtless or cruel thing you have ever done or said. Stop carrying these past mistakes around with you. That was then and this is now.

Think of it this way. When you did those things in the past that you still feel badly about, you were not the person you are today. At that time, you were a different person, younger and less experienced. You were not your true self. You were an immature version of the person you have become with experience. Stop beating yourself up for something that occurred in the past that you cannot change.

Just say, “I forgive myself for every mistake I ever made. I am a thoroughly good person and I am going to have a wonderful future.” Whenever you think of that event or situation, just repeat, “I forgive myself completely.” And then get on with your life. Focus on the future rather than the past and don’t look back. Look at where you are going rather than where you have been.

Finally, if you did something that hurt someone, and you still feel badly about it, you can go to that person, or write, and apologize. Tell the person you are sorry for what you did or said. Whatever his or her reaction, positive or negative, it doesn’t matter. The very act of repentance, of expressing regret, will set you free.