How To Choose The Right Partner

When you step into the world of dating, many may come along and claim that they are perfect for you. Then how do you distinguish the genuinely good ones from the bad ones? Listed below are some traits that you must look out for in a perfect partner.

1. Loyalty
If they can’t stay loyal, they will not be able to love you enough. You will never be happy with a person like that. No matter what happens, never date a philanderer.

2. Maturity
Maturity refers to knowing how to behave in a particular place and a particular time. Maturity does not depend upon the age of a person. It is attained through sufficient experience.

3. Independence
This refers to someone who has the potential to keep you happy. Don’t date someone who will only depend on you for every single thing.

4. Commitment
Commitment is very important in a relationship. Look out for someone who wishes to have a long term relationship with you. Run away from a person who keeps changing his mind

5. Security.
Go for someone who can make you feel secured both physically, emotionally and financially.

6. Respect.
Go for someone who will not only respect you but also respect those who are important to you.

7. Good sense of humor.
Go for someone who will make life lively for you. Laughter heals wounds & act as catalyst in r/s.

8. Similarities.
Go for someone who shares similar hobbies, taste, preferences like you to avoid clash of interest.

9. Smartness.
Go for someone who is more intelligent and wiser than you.

10. Romantic & affectionate.
Go for someone who can make you feel special.

11. Easy to understand.
Go for someone who you can easily blend with.

12. Sensitivity.
Go for someone who is sensitive to your feelings and needs.

IF YOU HAVE GOTTEN ONE, PLEASE DON’T LET HIM GO.
By Paul M. Wakawa

Four Big Mistakes That Women do that Get in the Way of Commitment They Want From Men

Women always complain of lack of commitment from men. Here are four mistakes we do that get in the way of our commitment they need from men.

Mistake #1: Focusing On Events, Not Feelings

We women are taught to believe that events, and the time we “put in,” MEAN SOMETHING to a man. If he’s introduced us to his family or friends at work we’re on cloud nine. We think of these as “milestones” moving us closer to commitment and marriage. And we couldn’t be more wrong.

Time means NOTHING to a man. Sometimes, being in a comfortable HOLDING PATTERN with us is EXACTLY what he has in mind! They spend time with us, but then they go and commit to someone else.

Unless we can get into our man’s heart, and let him into ours to create a deep emotional bond, we DOOM ourselves to a superficial level that will never lead to a lifelong commitment.

Mistake #2: Thinking Exclusive = Committed

…women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed…
How many of you have been comfortable in a relationship, only to have the man you are with meet someone else, or tell you he’s “found someone who really gets me.” How can it be that a man who is exclusive with you can “fall for” someone else so easily? It’s because he was not committed to you.

Oftentimes, women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed to you. When that happens, he’ll be exclusive AND won’t “fall for” another woman ever again!

Mistake #3: Talking About Your Relationship, Not Creating It

Often when women feel their man becoming distant, they decide to TALK to him about it. To ask how he’s feeling, why he’s acting this way, or where the relationship is going.

When you talk to a man about your relationship, you have the OPPOSITE effect on him than you intend. Though we often hear men say how much they hate how “emotional” women are – this is exactly the part they CRAVE. They are so stuck in their brains, so much of the time, that if we’re stuck in ours, they can’t connect to us.

Every time we TALK about the relationship, it feels to him like a laundry list of to do items instead of INSPIRING a man to want to be with us.

Mistake #4: You Panic… He Leaves

Because we know that “Lifelong-Commitment” is a frightening thing to a man, we’re often afraid to say or do anything that might scare him more.

It’s easy to get paralyzed by fear and anger and stop being ourselves. We stop being the fun, relaxed women who he originally fell for who made him great before.

DON’T IN YOUR IGNORANCE KILL YOUR BENEFACTOR.

Photo Credit:Foreword Reviews

 

There was an aged artist who lived in a small village. The man used to design beautiful artistic works to be sold at an attractive price

One day, a poor man among the villagers challenged the old man saying: You earn a lot of money from your handiwork but why don’t you assist indigent people in the village?

Cant you see the butcher who is not as rich as you are, but still shares free meat to the destitute people in the village.
Also, look at the village baker, a poor man with a large family, yet he gives the poor people free loaves of bread.

The artist did not respond angrily to the challenges, rather just smiled .

The poor man was so confused about the reaction of the artist so he left him and went out spreading rumors that the artist was so rich, but he was a stingy person who only accumulated wealth and refused to help less privileged. The entire villagers took vengeance, they broke away from the old artist man and they all forsook him.

In a mean time, the aged artist was sick but nobody among the villagers cared to visit him, therefore he died a lonely man.

The days passed by, the villagers observed that the butcher stopped free distribution of meat and the baker could not give the destitute people free loaves of bread any more, despite their continuous trooping to the bakery and their hope to have something to eat.

When both (the butcher and the baker) were asked the reason behind the sudden cut off of the welfare to the villagers, they said that: ” the elderly artist who used to donate a large sum of money every month to share free meat and loaves of bread to the poor people in the village has died, so the welfare has to stop.”

Actually, many people may have wrong impression about you while others may have different opinions, none of them could benefit nor harm your good intention.

Therefore, don’t pass judgment on any one based on his physical appearance. There are things about his personal life, if you were privileged to know, your judgement would surely be different.

For example, a man died at nightspot/ dance hall.

The other person died in the mosque/Church.

The first person entered the dance hall with intention to preach to them (against indecency)

The second person entered the mosque/Church to steal money or bags.

For this reason, you and I can not decide who enters heaven nor who enters hell-fire. Fear God in privacy and fear God in the open. Human physical appearance is a deception, therefore, forgive, pardon and ignore people’s iniquities. Pray for God’s guidance on erring people. Be good to everybody, don’t cut off your relationship with a person who does not please you. Establish unity and harmony with people, God will love you and people will love you too. The Lord Who created the souls, knows what the souls conceals.

I found this story very insightful and I think I should share

0 Or 1

If numbers in Mathematics were given an opportunity to speak, I think some were going to accuse zero and one . Because any number that is multiplied by zero gives zero. Zero will bring down numbers to nothing. There are some people in life who are like number zero, if you associate with them no matter how great your value is they will bring you down to zero. How about one? Any number multiplied by one remains unchanged no matter how big it is. There are some people in life that are like one, no matter how they touch your life you remain the same you don’t grow, you don’t improve you remain at the same level. So here is the twist, what kind of person are you and whom do you associate with? God will separate us from everyone carrying the spirit of Zero (0) and One (1) and also helps us grow and be greater than 1 so that we must be value adding when we touch the lives of others.
Good morning and have a wonderful day

DEAR MEN

DEAR MEN
You might think she wants your money, your car or even the most expensive of gifts……………

But you really need to understand that the RIGHT WOMAN wants your time, your smile, your HONESTY, as well as your efforts at making her your PRIORITY………

Only then will you unleash the King in you by making her the QUEEN she is meant to be…….

Women: Men Now Are Not After Sexiness

Are black women sexy? No doubt! When it comes to sexiness sisters have no equal. But can I be honest with you? I’m actually TIRED of sexy black women. Now hear me out on this, please.

Sexiness don’t mean jack snot. Not in the grand scheme of things. Visually appealing, yes. But I can’t eat sexiness. Sexiness won’t help pay these bills or pay off our student loans. Sexiness won’t qualify for a mortgage, or get people to respect you, sexiness wont allow me set my next big business move.

Sexiness won’t help me raise these kids. Neither will it teach my daughters their true worth and value in this world.

We got way too many ‘Sexy’ sisters out here with nothing else to bring to the table. Sexiness is the totality of their package. And that’s WACK!

Most black men looking for a relationship want a USEFUL woman. Visual appeal alone won’t cut it. Besides: there are so many black women competing to be the sexiest, it’s not even a race worth entering.

Can you cook? Do you clean? Do you have mothering skills Do you love your father? Respect him? Respect other black men in general? Have you divested yourself of prior relationship baggage? Can you hold a conversation about REAL world events? And no: Love and Hip Hop doesn’t count!

Do you have a REAL relationship with a REAL God: or do you follow the fake one many Christians have invented for themselves because he’s more tolerable than the actual Truth?

These are the kind of questions discerning men are asking nowadays.

So if sexiness is all you bring to the table, you can keep it. I’d rather have a woman of pure unadulterated SUBSTANCE. And I’m sure I speak for most conscious-thinking brothers out there on this one.

There’s a new breed of black men out there ladies. And we ain’t settling for second best or taking any shorts. Either come correct or go get with the jacks and harries. That’s all many of you are use to dealing with anyway…

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi