How To Choose The Right Partner

When you step into the world of dating, many may come along and claim that they are perfect for you. Then how do you distinguish the genuinely good ones from the bad ones? Listed below are some traits that you must look out for in a perfect partner.

1. Loyalty
If they can’t stay loyal, they will not be able to love you enough. You will never be happy with a person like that. No matter what happens, never date a philanderer.

2. Maturity
Maturity refers to knowing how to behave in a particular place and a particular time. Maturity does not depend upon the age of a person. It is attained through sufficient experience.

3. Independence
This refers to someone who has the potential to keep you happy. Don’t date someone who will only depend on you for every single thing.

4. Commitment
Commitment is very important in a relationship. Look out for someone who wishes to have a long term relationship with you. Run away from a person who keeps changing his mind

5. Security.
Go for someone who can make you feel secured both physically, emotionally and financially.

6. Respect.
Go for someone who will not only respect you but also respect those who are important to you.

7. Good sense of humor.
Go for someone who will make life lively for you. Laughter heals wounds & act as catalyst in r/s.

8. Similarities.
Go for someone who shares similar hobbies, taste, preferences like you to avoid clash of interest.

9. Smartness.
Go for someone who is more intelligent and wiser than you.

10. Romantic & affectionate.
Go for someone who can make you feel special.

11. Easy to understand.
Go for someone who you can easily blend with.

12. Sensitivity.
Go for someone who is sensitive to your feelings and needs.

IF YOU HAVE GOTTEN ONE, PLEASE DON’T LET HIM GO.
By Paul M. Wakawa

Four Big Mistakes That Women do that Get in the Way of Commitment They Want From Men

Women always complain of lack of commitment from men. Here are four mistakes we do that get in the way of our commitment they need from men.

Mistake #1: Focusing On Events, Not Feelings

We women are taught to believe that events, and the time we “put in,” MEAN SOMETHING to a man. If he’s introduced us to his family or friends at work we’re on cloud nine. We think of these as “milestones” moving us closer to commitment and marriage. And we couldn’t be more wrong.

Time means NOTHING to a man. Sometimes, being in a comfortable HOLDING PATTERN with us is EXACTLY what he has in mind! They spend time with us, but then they go and commit to someone else.

Unless we can get into our man’s heart, and let him into ours to create a deep emotional bond, we DOOM ourselves to a superficial level that will never lead to a lifelong commitment.

Mistake #2: Thinking Exclusive = Committed

…women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed…
How many of you have been comfortable in a relationship, only to have the man you are with meet someone else, or tell you he’s “found someone who really gets me.” How can it be that a man who is exclusive with you can “fall for” someone else so easily? It’s because he was not committed to you.

Oftentimes, women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed to you. When that happens, he’ll be exclusive AND won’t “fall for” another woman ever again!

Mistake #3: Talking About Your Relationship, Not Creating It

Often when women feel their man becoming distant, they decide to TALK to him about it. To ask how he’s feeling, why he’s acting this way, or where the relationship is going.

When you talk to a man about your relationship, you have the OPPOSITE effect on him than you intend. Though we often hear men say how much they hate how “emotional” women are – this is exactly the part they CRAVE. They are so stuck in their brains, so much of the time, that if we’re stuck in ours, they can’t connect to us.

Every time we TALK about the relationship, it feels to him like a laundry list of to do items instead of INSPIRING a man to want to be with us.

Mistake #4: You Panic… He Leaves

Because we know that “Lifelong-Commitment” is a frightening thing to a man, we’re often afraid to say or do anything that might scare him more.

It’s easy to get paralyzed by fear and anger and stop being ourselves. We stop being the fun, relaxed women who he originally fell for who made him great before.

PREPARING TO BECOME A WIFE: TEN (10) TIPS FOR SINGLE WOMAN

Photo Credit: Dhgate.com

Many women dream of that special day. You know the one, where all of the attention is on her in that gorgeous white dress. The flowers, the decorations, the fancy cars and let’s not forget, her Prince Charming. Most women have an idea of what age they will be when Mr. Right asks her to spend the rest of her life with him. She has the colors picked out, the ideal season, the wedding party and even the guest list! To many women, the wedding day is the turning point in her life that will lead to her happily ever after. Many of have focused (let’s be honest) so much time and thought on the wedding such that they have never spent enough time and energy on the most important part Preparing To Become A Wife! Marriage takes work! I am talking about 24/7/365 work! The great thing about the marital covenant is that when you give it your all, you can live Happily Ever After.

1. Develop an intimate relationship with God.

You cannot enter into a successful covenant with a husband if you don’t first have one with God. Seek wisdom, study the word, develop a life of prayer and be dedicated to living for God. This will strengthen the marriage covenant when God allows you to walk into that season. A three-cord strand is not easily broken.

2. Master the art of fidelity and trust.

No man wants a woman who cannot be faithful or one that turns her neck at every fine man that she sees. Learn to 100% committed prior to a serious courtship. Be happy with what God has blessed you with and cultivate your relationship. It is also important to be a woman of your word. If you promise to do something, be sure to do it!

3. Develop the ability to take care of a home.

Ladies, in order to be a great partner in marriage, you must bring the ability to emotionally and physically take care of the house. Learn to set an atmosphere of peace and love. Avoid quarrels when possible. Practice gentleness with others that cross your path.

4. Learn how to cook!

My mother once told me that a woman who cannot cook is not cute! We know that men like to eat. Let’s be serious here. We all need to eat to live. Eating out all of the time can become expensive and who doesn’t love a home-cooked meal from time to time. If you cannot do anything beyond boil water, invest in a cookbook. Try one new meal a week and you will quickly improve your cooking skills.

5. Make smart financial decisions.

If you desire to marry a man that provides and makes the best decisions for his family, you need to do the same. Smart men don’t want to marry a woman who spends way more than she saves. Work on your budget and be sure to have an emergency fund. Preparing for tomorrow is important. The ability to manage money is important in marriage.

6. Be complete as one.

Be comfortable with not having a man in this season. Learn to be happy on your own. Find joy in those things that make you happy. Love what you have and don’t covet what others have. Spend time in your singleness doing the things that you love to do. Travel, find hobbies and do the things that married women tell you that you won’t have time to do when you get married and then become a mother.

7. Learn the art of compromise.

Marriage will be about give and take. While you are single, learn that you don’t always have to be right and accept that most things will not always happen your way. Be willing to sacrifice what you want for the benefit and happiness of others. Wives have to compromise many things. The earlier we learn to compromise, the better off we will be in marriage.

8. Be committed to pursuing your dreams and supporting others.

It is important to have your own goals and motivations prior to becoming one with your future husbands. The single season is a great opportunity to begin building your career, business or working towards other goals. Learn how to support family and friends in their endeavors as well. When you become a wife, you will have to support your husband’s dreams, possibly at the expense of yours. You must me ok with this level of sacrifice and compromise prior to committing to marriage.

9. Know what submission is and be ready to walk in it.

Many people shy away from this discussion. Submission is not equivalent to obedience. Submission is yielding in love. Study God’s design for marriage and understand the role of a wife. In your singleness, God is your husband. Submit yourself to Him. Trust His plan and timing for your life. Seek His guidance in all that you do. Practicing submission now will be the driving force to it being second nature to you once you become a wife.

10. Be holy and feminine in your conduct.

Always carry yourself as a classy woman who walks with confidence. Men want a woman they are proud to take home to their families. They want a woman with high self-esteem, one who walks gracefully, respects herself and others around her. Marriage is a sacred bond between God, man and woman. This is a great starting list to help single women prepare.

DON’T IN YOUR IGNORANCE KILL YOUR BENEFACTOR.

Photo Credit:Foreword Reviews

 

There was an aged artist who lived in a small village. The man used to design beautiful artistic works to be sold at an attractive price

One day, a poor man among the villagers challenged the old man saying: You earn a lot of money from your handiwork but why don’t you assist indigent people in the village?

Cant you see the butcher who is not as rich as you are, but still shares free meat to the destitute people in the village.
Also, look at the village baker, a poor man with a large family, yet he gives the poor people free loaves of bread.

The artist did not respond angrily to the challenges, rather just smiled .

The poor man was so confused about the reaction of the artist so he left him and went out spreading rumors that the artist was so rich, but he was a stingy person who only accumulated wealth and refused to help less privileged. The entire villagers took vengeance, they broke away from the old artist man and they all forsook him.

In a mean time, the aged artist was sick but nobody among the villagers cared to visit him, therefore he died a lonely man.

The days passed by, the villagers observed that the butcher stopped free distribution of meat and the baker could not give the destitute people free loaves of bread any more, despite their continuous trooping to the bakery and their hope to have something to eat.

When both (the butcher and the baker) were asked the reason behind the sudden cut off of the welfare to the villagers, they said that: ” the elderly artist who used to donate a large sum of money every month to share free meat and loaves of bread to the poor people in the village has died, so the welfare has to stop.”

Actually, many people may have wrong impression about you while others may have different opinions, none of them could benefit nor harm your good intention.

Therefore, don’t pass judgment on any one based on his physical appearance. There are things about his personal life, if you were privileged to know, your judgement would surely be different.

For example, a man died at nightspot/ dance hall.

The other person died in the mosque/Church.

The first person entered the dance hall with intention to preach to them (against indecency)

The second person entered the mosque/Church to steal money or bags.

For this reason, you and I can not decide who enters heaven nor who enters hell-fire. Fear God in privacy and fear God in the open. Human physical appearance is a deception, therefore, forgive, pardon and ignore people’s iniquities. Pray for God’s guidance on erring people. Be good to everybody, don’t cut off your relationship with a person who does not please you. Establish unity and harmony with people, God will love you and people will love you too. The Lord Who created the souls, knows what the souls conceals.

I found this story very insightful and I think I should share

Child Bride

 

Photo credit. unfpa.org

Under age marriage.

Talking about underage marriage, in Africa we are the center of underage marriage in the world.

I am from Nigeria and I live in the North Western Nigeria (am from the North Eastern part of Nigeria), and the North West is where underage marriage is mostly practice.

I stay in Sokoto where underage marriage is a norm and not seen as bad, Sokoto have a very high cases of women living with Vesicular Virginal Fistula (VVF).

Underage marriage is a marriage between one of the two (or both) person involve in the marriage contract or agreements. I am looking at underage marriage not in the context of birth age (18 being legal or official), but looking at the persons as not being matured physiologically. Mentally, physically, and emotionally not being matured is also tagged as being underage. The girl child are mostly the most affected by this.

I am writing about underage marriage, I was in a village in Sokoto for a research work, and my guide a young boy of about 9 – 11 years of age said a statement that almost brought tears to my eyes.

Faruku and his friend saw a small girl passing by and his friend said “har anyi ma yarinya nan wanka” which means this in English “This girl has already been married off”. Then Faruku said they are just suffering this girl, they went ahead to talked about other young girls who are even in their matrimonial homes.

These young boys feel bad about the underage marriage, what saddens me was a young man who was with us and he sees nothing wrong with the girls being married off ag that young age, he is even trying to defend the practice and fault those you boys and being boys and don’t know anything yet. During this discussion a lot was going on in my mind and here are a few of them.

1. How do these young boys know that these girls are too young for marriage?
2. How come this young man don’t see the evil of this practice?
3. Are these young boys truly too young to know what is marriage?
4. Will they still hold on to this believe as they grow up as underage marriage is bad?
5. How come the people of this community welcome such a practice?

As I finished my work and headed back home I was just disturbed in my spirit and I remember when I visit Maryam Abatcha Women and Children Hospital Sokoto, I saw so many women young girls most of them about 13 – 15 years of age suffering from VVF. I begin to wonder how did they get to this state and what is the solution?

I think more awareness and enlightenment and sex/reproductive health education has to be intensify to get everyone aware and enlighten. Leaders and elders of the communities need to be involve in this awareness campaign.

I pray there will be more voices who will  rise up and speak about this.

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

Photo Credit: Pixel.com

I saw this few reasons on way to read book and I will love to share with you.

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

1. Books help you to feel more confident.

2. Books help you to travel around the world in the cheapest way.

3. Books develop your personality.

4. Books provide food for thought.

5. Books make you laugh and think.

6. Books draw you towards perfection.

7. Books stimulate creativity.

8. Books bring out writing talent.

9. Books help you in communicating.

10. Books clear your vision.

11. Books satisfy your curiosity.

12. Books help you make better choices.

13. Books help you build literary talent.

14. Books do not require any special device to teach.

15. Books increase your attention span.

16. Books are fruitful pastime.

17. Books can be used anytime, anywhere.

18. Books provide entertainment, when others fail.

19. Books make you powerful.

20. Books help you know the ‘Whys’ and ‘Hows’ of everything.

21. Books help you to create and spread fun.

22. Books help you travel across time intelligently.

23. Books keep you updated with facts and figures.

24. Books spread love, affection and knowledge.

25. Books make the best of friends.

26. Books take you to intellectual environment.

27. Books help you feel the world around you.

28. Books entertain your mind.

29. Books broaden your horizon.

30. Books bring Nature to your doorstep.

31. Books bring about a ‘personality change’.

32. Books increase comprehension.

33. Books do not require company.

34. Books are stress-busters.

35. Books develop a sense of belonging to people around you.

36. Books provide mental and physical relaxation.

37. Books act as a communication tool.

38. Books are intellectually satisfying activity.

39. Books provide spiritual experience.

40. Books provide emotional strength.

41. Books build your self-esteem.

42. Books help and encourage your imagination to soar.

43. Books make you smarter and wiser.

44. Books help you grow.

45. Books take you to a ‘world of dreams’.

46. Books can change your life and vision.

47. Books help you in achieving ‘life goals’.

48. Books develop wonderful experience.

49. Books transform lives.

50. Books inspire, books motivate, books build nations.

We challenge you to start reading books and not just storing them!

Credit: Dickson Udems

A Beautiful Way OF Looking at Things.

A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map……When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, “Oh…. Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper….. I made the face perfect to get the map right.” She ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

MORAL OF THE STORY: There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. Whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side…. You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.

A Beautiful Way OF Looking at Things.

A Beautiful Way Of Looking At Things
A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map……When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, “Oh…. Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper….. I made the face perfect to get the map right.” She ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

MORAL OF THE STORY: There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. Whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side…. You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem.

Credit: Madam Sabi

Joke

A father decided to take his son abroad to learn English because it has proven to be impossible in Nigeria. He took him to a language school in UK and demanded that the school should have him stay with a host family (An English family).

After 6 months, the father decided to pay his son a surprise visit. He called the school, got the host family’s address and dropped there without notice.

When he rang the door bell, an English lady in her 40’s answered the door.

ENGLISH LADY: Hello, how may I help you?

FATHER: Hello, I am Adamu’s father. I’m here to see my son.

ENGLISH LADY: Hi, I’m his host mother. I will get him for you. The host mother turned and shouted, “Adamu, ka zo ga Babanka ya zo!”(Which means Adamu come your father is here)

PREPARING TO BECOME A WIFE: TEN (10) TIPS FOR SINGLE WOMAN

Many women dream of that special day. You know the one, where all of the attention is on her in that gorgeous white dress. The flowers, the decorations, the fancy cars and let’s not forget, her Prince Charming. Most women have an idea of what age they will be when Mr. Right asks her to spend the rest of her life with him. She has the colors picked out, the ideal season, the wedding party and even the guest list! To many women, the wedding day is the turning point in her life that will lead to her happily ever after. Many of have focused (let’s be honest) so much time and thought on the wedding such that they have never spent enough time and energy on the most important part Preparing To Become A Wife! Marriage takes work! I am talking about 24/7/365 work! The great thing about the marital covenant is that when you give it your all, you can live Happily Ever After.

1. Develop an intimate relationship with God. You cannot enter into a successful covenant with a husband if you don’t first have one with God. Seek wisdom, study the word, develop a life of prayer and be dedicated to living for God. This will strengthen the marriage covenant when God allows you to walk into that season. A three-cord strand is not easily broken.

2. Master the art of fidelity and trust. No man wants a woman who cannot be faithful or one that turns her neck at every fine man that she sees. Learn to 100% committed prior to a serious courtship. Be happy with what God has blessed you with and cultivate your relationship. It is also important to be a woman of your word. If you promise to do something, be sure to do it!

3. Develop the ability to take care of a home. Ladies, in order to be a great partner in marriage, you must bring the ability to emotionally and physically take care of the house. Learn to set an atmosphere of peace and love. Avoid quarrels when possible. Practice gentleness with others that cross your path.

4. Learn how to cook! My mother once told me that a woman who cannot cook is not cute! We know that men like to eat. Let’s be serious here. We all need to eat to live. Eating out all of the time can become expensive and who doesn’t love a home-cooked meal from time to time. If you cannot do anything beyond boil water, invest in a cookbook. Try one new meal a week and you will quickly improve your cooking skills.

5. Make smart financial decisions. If you desire to marry a man that provides and makes the best decisions for his family, you need to do the same. Smart men don’t want to marry a woman who spends way more than she saves. Work on your budget and be sure to have an emergency fund. Preparing for tomorrow is important. The ability to manage money is important in marriage.

6. Be complete as one. Be comfortable with not having a man in this season. Learn to be happy on your own. Find joy in those things that make you happy. Love what you have and don’t covet what others have. Spend time in your singleness doing the things that you love to do. Travel, find hobbies and do the things that married women tell you that you won’t have time to do when you get married and then become a mother.

7. Learn the art of compromise. Marriage will be about give and take. While you are single, learn that you don’t always have to be right and accept that most things will not always happen your way. Be willing to sacrifice what you want for the benefit and happiness of others. Wives have to compromise many things. The earlier we learn to compromise, the better off we will be in marriage.

8. Be committed to pursuing your dreams and supporting others. It is important to have your own goals and motivations prior to becoming one with your future husbands. The single season is a great opportunity to begin building your career, business or working towards other goals. Learn how to support family and friends in their endeavors as well. When you become a wife, you will have to support your husband’s dreams, possibly at the expense of yours. You must me ok with this level of sacrifice and compromise prior to committing to marriage.

9. Know what submission is and be ready to walk in it. Many people shy away from this discussion. Submission is not equivalent to obedience. Submission is yielding in love. Study God’s design for marriage and understand the role of a wife. In your singleness, God is your husband. Submit yourself to Him. Trust His plan and timing for your life. Seek His guidance in all that you do. Practicing submission now will be the driving force to it being second nature to you once you become a wife.

10. Be holy and feminine in your conduct. Always carry yourself as a classy woman who walks with confidence. Men want a woman they are proud to take home to their families. They want a woman with high self-esteem, one who walks gracefully, respects herself and others around her. Marriage is a sacred bond between God, man and woman. This is a great starting list to help single women prepare.