Four Big Mistakes That Women do that Get in the Way of Commitment They Want From Men

Women always complain of lack of commitment from men. Here are four mistakes we do that get in the way of our commitment they need from men.

Mistake #1: Focusing On Events, Not Feelings

We women are taught to believe that events, and the time we “put in,” MEAN SOMETHING to a man. If he’s introduced us to his family or friends at work we’re on cloud nine. We think of these as “milestones” moving us closer to commitment and marriage. And we couldn’t be more wrong.

Time means NOTHING to a man. Sometimes, being in a comfortable HOLDING PATTERN with us is EXACTLY what he has in mind! They spend time with us, but then they go and commit to someone else.

Unless we can get into our man’s heart, and let him into ours to create a deep emotional bond, we DOOM ourselves to a superficial level that will never lead to a lifelong commitment.

Mistake #2: Thinking Exclusive = Committed

…women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed…
How many of you have been comfortable in a relationship, only to have the man you are with meet someone else, or tell you he’s “found someone who really gets me.” How can it be that a man who is exclusive with you can “fall for” someone else so easily? It’s because he was not committed to you.

Oftentimes, women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed to you. When that happens, he’ll be exclusive AND won’t “fall for” another woman ever again!

Mistake #3: Talking About Your Relationship, Not Creating It

Often when women feel their man becoming distant, they decide to TALK to him about it. To ask how he’s feeling, why he’s acting this way, or where the relationship is going.

When you talk to a man about your relationship, you have the OPPOSITE effect on him than you intend. Though we often hear men say how much they hate how “emotional” women are – this is exactly the part they CRAVE. They are so stuck in their brains, so much of the time, that if we’re stuck in ours, they can’t connect to us.

Every time we TALK about the relationship, it feels to him like a laundry list of to do items instead of INSPIRING a man to want to be with us.

Mistake #4: You Panic… He Leaves

Because we know that “Lifelong-Commitment” is a frightening thing to a man, we’re often afraid to say or do anything that might scare him more.

It’s easy to get paralyzed by fear and anger and stop being ourselves. We stop being the fun, relaxed women who he originally fell for who made him great before.

TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE

To all married couple. And those preparing for marriage.

1. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS.

Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorns. If you focus too much on your spouse’s weakness, you can’t get the best out of his/her strength.

2. EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY.

No one is an Angel, therefore, avoid digging one’s past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. try to forgive and forget. The past can’t be changed. So focus on the present and the future!

3. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT’S OWN CHALLENGES.

Marriage is not bed of roses. Every shinning marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proved in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!

4. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS.

Don’t compare your marriage with anyone else’s! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.

5. TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR.

When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Prayerlessness, Unforgivingness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, bitterness, Laziness, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.

6. THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE.

There is no ready made- marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a CAR with Gear oil, gear box, back axles, etc and If these parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and exposing the occupants to unhealthy circumstances. – Many of us are careless about our marriages … Are you? If you are, please pay attention to your marriage.

7. GOD DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE.

He (God) gives you, him or her in the form of raw materials in order for you to mold into what you desire. You may desire a man/woman who can pray for 1 hour but your husband/ wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve and vise versa.

8. TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK.

You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situations may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get married to her because she’s slim but she becomes 100% fatter after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at last.

9. MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS PERMANENT.

Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce

10. EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY.

Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don’t deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.

May God Give us The Grace And Wisdom To Build A Heaven on Earth Marriage.

DON’T IN YOUR IGNORANCE KILL YOUR BENEFACTOR.

Photo Credit:Foreword Reviews

 

There was an aged artist who lived in a small village. The man used to design beautiful artistic works to be sold at an attractive price

One day, a poor man among the villagers challenged the old man saying: You earn a lot of money from your handiwork but why don’t you assist indigent people in the village?

Cant you see the butcher who is not as rich as you are, but still shares free meat to the destitute people in the village.
Also, look at the village baker, a poor man with a large family, yet he gives the poor people free loaves of bread.

The artist did not respond angrily to the challenges, rather just smiled .

The poor man was so confused about the reaction of the artist so he left him and went out spreading rumors that the artist was so rich, but he was a stingy person who only accumulated wealth and refused to help less privileged. The entire villagers took vengeance, they broke away from the old artist man and they all forsook him.

In a mean time, the aged artist was sick but nobody among the villagers cared to visit him, therefore he died a lonely man.

The days passed by, the villagers observed that the butcher stopped free distribution of meat and the baker could not give the destitute people free loaves of bread any more, despite their continuous trooping to the bakery and their hope to have something to eat.

When both (the butcher and the baker) were asked the reason behind the sudden cut off of the welfare to the villagers, they said that: ” the elderly artist who used to donate a large sum of money every month to share free meat and loaves of bread to the poor people in the village has died, so the welfare has to stop.”

Actually, many people may have wrong impression about you while others may have different opinions, none of them could benefit nor harm your good intention.

Therefore, don’t pass judgment on any one based on his physical appearance. There are things about his personal life, if you were privileged to know, your judgement would surely be different.

For example, a man died at nightspot/ dance hall.

The other person died in the mosque/Church.

The first person entered the dance hall with intention to preach to them (against indecency)

The second person entered the mosque/Church to steal money or bags.

For this reason, you and I can not decide who enters heaven nor who enters hell-fire. Fear God in privacy and fear God in the open. Human physical appearance is a deception, therefore, forgive, pardon and ignore people’s iniquities. Pray for God’s guidance on erring people. Be good to everybody, don’t cut off your relationship with a person who does not please you. Establish unity and harmony with people, God will love you and people will love you too. The Lord Who created the souls, knows what the souls conceals.

I found this story very insightful and I think I should share

We Need To Turn A Blind Eye For Peace

In live we come across stories that bring great morals and lessons for life.

Today’s story holds a great lesson for all.

A man married a beautiful girl. He loved her very much. One day she developed a skin disease. Slowly she started to lose her beauty. It so happened that one day her husband left for a tour.

While returning he met with an accident and lost his eyesight. However their married life continued as usual. But as days passed she lost her beauty gradually. Blind husband did not know this and there was not any difference in their married life. He continued to love her and she also loved him very much.

One day she died. Her death brought him great sorrow.

He finished all her last rites and wanted to leave that town.

A man from behind called and said, now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you.

He replied, I am not blind. I was acting, because if she knew l could see her ugliness it would have pained her more than her disease. So I pretended to be blind. She was a very good wife. I only wanted to keep her happy.

Moral:- Some times it is good for us to act blind and ignore one another’s short comings, in order to be happy

No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That’s the spirit of FORGIVENESS. Even though the eyes don’t see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together. That’s UNITY.” May God grant us all the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness.

1. ”Alone, I can ‘Say’ but together, we can ‘talk’.

2. “Alone, I can ‘Enjoy’ but together, we can celebrate

3. ‘Alone, I can ‘Smile’ but together, we can ‘Laugh’.

That’s the BEAUTY of Human Relations. We are nothing without each other

The razor blade is sharp but can’t cut a tree; the axe is strong but can’t cut the hair.

MORALS: Everyone is important according to his/her purpose. Never look down on anyone unless you are admiring their shoes.

Share to educate someone.

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

Photo Credit: Pixel.com

I saw this few reasons on way to read book and I will love to share with you.

REASONS WHY WE SHOULD CONSTANTLY READ BOOKS

1. Books help you to feel more confident.

2. Books help you to travel around the world in the cheapest way.

3. Books develop your personality.

4. Books provide food for thought.

5. Books make you laugh and think.

6. Books draw you towards perfection.

7. Books stimulate creativity.

8. Books bring out writing talent.

9. Books help you in communicating.

10. Books clear your vision.

11. Books satisfy your curiosity.

12. Books help you make better choices.

13. Books help you build literary talent.

14. Books do not require any special device to teach.

15. Books increase your attention span.

16. Books are fruitful pastime.

17. Books can be used anytime, anywhere.

18. Books provide entertainment, when others fail.

19. Books make you powerful.

20. Books help you know the ‘Whys’ and ‘Hows’ of everything.

21. Books help you to create and spread fun.

22. Books help you travel across time intelligently.

23. Books keep you updated with facts and figures.

24. Books spread love, affection and knowledge.

25. Books make the best of friends.

26. Books take you to intellectual environment.

27. Books help you feel the world around you.

28. Books entertain your mind.

29. Books broaden your horizon.

30. Books bring Nature to your doorstep.

31. Books bring about a ‘personality change’.

32. Books increase comprehension.

33. Books do not require company.

34. Books are stress-busters.

35. Books develop a sense of belonging to people around you.

36. Books provide mental and physical relaxation.

37. Books act as a communication tool.

38. Books are intellectually satisfying activity.

39. Books provide spiritual experience.

40. Books provide emotional strength.

41. Books build your self-esteem.

42. Books help and encourage your imagination to soar.

43. Books make you smarter and wiser.

44. Books help you grow.

45. Books take you to a ‘world of dreams’.

46. Books can change your life and vision.

47. Books help you in achieving ‘life goals’.

48. Books develop wonderful experience.

49. Books transform lives.

50. Books inspire, books motivate, books build nations.

We challenge you to start reading books and not just storing them!

Credit: Dickson Udems

IF YOU WANT TO BE RICH, DON’T GO TO SCHOOL. READ THIS ARTICLE INSTEAD…

I saw this on the facebook timeline of a beloved friend and a brother who’s facebook page is full of inspiration and motivational. Chukwuemeka Michael Eze

IF YOU WANT TO BE RICH, DON’T GO TO SCHOOL. READ THIS ARTICLE INSTEAD…

The school does not teach people how to be rich. they only teach you how to work for others and earn wages. they make you into a banker, doctor, engineer, teacher and all those beautiful names such as you have as well.

And everyone who goes through the school system ends up working for the rich who own the establishments and corporations. most of them aren’t as educated. they have however, mastered the art of hiring the most educated and best professionals to work for them.

Does all aircraft owners know how to fly an aircraft? no! but they know how to hire the best of pilots who have been prepared by the school system to serve the rich, and get paid for their services. But the airline or aircraft owners make billions of dollars in profit from the hard work of the pilots and other employees they have to pay a few thousand dollars in wages, and salaries and one month of paid leave. hahahaha….

Was this why Robert Kiyosaki the author of the book “Rich dad, poor dad” wrote a book which he titled: “if you want to be rich, don’t go to school”?
He wasn’t telling people not to get educated, he was in essence stressing emphatically that the school is not a place to learn how to become rich.

What then makes people rich?
for me, I will say it is the ability to solve problems that makes people rich.
Money is a reward for problems solved or value created. Let’s say you have to get home from work, or you need to move from point A to Point B, you will sure look for a means to get to your destination.

Be it by bus, taxi, Uber or buying a Mercedes Benz Car. whoever solves this need, you will have to pay a commensurate value of money for services rendered, same applies for products sold to satisfy a need. likewise, if you have to help others solve their problems, you will get a monetary value in return which over time, accumulates into wealth.

Be it as it may, you do not get rich because you went to school, or because you speak eloquently, or can make good grammatical construction. No!
you get rich because you are able to solve problems by creating value.

Everyone has needs (problems) as well as monies allocated to solve these problems. (remember how you allocate your next salary even before pay day?)
yes that’s what I’m talking about.

Thus, whoever provides solutions for those needs receives all the monies allocated to solving those needs as an exchange or reward for products offered and services rendered.

Finally, you may want to think about a way to create value and solve problems in your society. it could be about food shortage, water supply, health, fashion, communication, entertainment, education, beauty, and the list is endless.

When you have identified a problem or need which you have a passion for, you must proceed to getting sufficient knowledge about solving it. this may be some hard work or cost you some weeks

rch that ought to be made. but when you are done and able to lunch your solution into the society, people will reward you for your time and hard-work by paying for the value you have created.

This is the sure path to becoming rich. it is by creating value and solving problems.

——–Chukwuemeka Michael Eze

Note: the above article does not intend in anyway to discourage people from having a job or going to school. It is for the very few who has questions on how to be rich.

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Tribute To A Woman

“You know baby I know alot of people are against you all the ladies in the world but you can do whatever you set your mind to do can’t no one stop you believe that it’s time, now’s the place, do your thing, it’s your world

Don’t be scared, its your world, don’t trip, shout it out You’re the bomb, don’t be scared, its your world I can’t begin to feel the agony I know you feel I’m tryin’ to break you out of that mold that once was real but you’re grown up and now it’s time to let go all your fears it’s time for you to go,its time for you to live you’ve been under your parents,but they can’t live for you

You got to go and do what’s best for you make your decisions and live by them and sweat and bleed You must struggle to be you even when you’re in need it’s time, now’s the place, (now’s the place)do your thing, it’s your world

Don’t be scared, its your world, don’t trip, shout it out You’re the bomb, don’t be scared, its your world I know you expecting help but get out there on your own then you’ll appreciate all that you have and all you own and that no one out there can never ever take from you do you and all that’s expected and you will break right through this world this crazy crazy world, (this crazy world)this cold and harsh world, (this cold and harsh world)this cruel and foul world

And now you’re proud and all grown up and sure a woman now then you’ll stand uplooking ahead, feeling so proud it’s time, now’s the place, do your thing, don’t be scared it’s your world don’t trip, shout it out you’re the bomb, don’t be scared, its your world it’s time, now’s the place, do your thing, don’t be scared it’s your world don’t trip, shout it out you’re the bomb, don’t be scared, its your world You can’t be held down, (You can’t be you can’t be held down no you can’t)no one can stop you know(I know the struggle’s hard but you gotta keep fighting gotta keep going on)I know you get tired of the bull(I know you get tired of the bull you wake up everyday and it seems like you can’t go on all you gotta do is sticking there, everything will be ok)

It’s time, now’s the place, do your thing, don’t be scared it’s your world don’t trip, shout it out You’re the bomb, don’t be scared, its your world it’s time, now’s the place, do your thing, don’t be scared it’s your world don’t trip, shout it out you’re the bomb, don’t be scared, its your worldIt’s time, now’s the place, do your thing, don’t be scared it’s your world

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY TO THE REAL WOMEN…

The Content Not The Container

WOW!! GREAT STORY !!!

A group of alumni (past students), highly established in their careers, agreed together to visit their old university Professor.
Conversations soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and brought a large pot of coffee with an assortment of cups. (porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite). Then, he told them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

“If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups… And then you began eyeing each other’s cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.
They are just tools to hold and contain life. The type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us.”

God “brews” the coffee, not the cups………. Enjoy your coffee!

MORAL TO BE LEARNT
“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.” Live simply and be generous. Care deeply. Speak truthfully and kindly, work hard. Be yourself. Be wise. Pray and leave the rest to GOD…. He is sufficient for us.

Blessed is He Whom God Helps

It’s about God not humans …..Long time ago there lived a great king and two beggars who always stood at the gate of his palace everyday.

As the king rode by everyday, the 1st beggar would say ‘blessed is he whom the king helps’ while the 2nd beggar would say ‘blessed is he whom God helps’.

The king always felt pleased to hear the praise of the 1st beggar.

One evening the king decided to reward the 1st beggar for all the praise; he ordered his baker to bake a cake and wrap precious stones inside the cake.

The next day as he rode by, he gave the cake to the 1st beggar as he hailed him as usual.

The 1st beggar who was in dire need of cash sold the cake to the 2nd beggar at next to nothing.

When the 2nd beggar cut open the cake he saw the precious stones, sold them and became a wealthy man.

He did not return back to the kings gate the next day.

As the king rode out of his palace the next day, he saw the 1st beggar still asking for alms and stopped to ask him if he ate the cake he gave him.

The 1st beggar replied and said no sir, I sold it to my friend who was here with me yesterday; I have not seen him today.

The king continued his journey, telling everybody he met saying it is true that blessed is he that God helps.

Our God is the all knowing God, HE has not forgotten you. HE is always just in time.

Have a blessed and creative day ahead!

Ways That We Unknowingly Hurt Our Spouse

I got this from Creflo Dollar ministry Weekly grace and I will love to share with my readers.
 
Dear Reader
 
The title of today’s devotional may have piqued your interest.
 
Many times in relationships, especially marriages, people focus on themselves and what they are getting from their spouse with very little time spent considering how they may be causing or perpetuating some of the issues in their relationship. Most, if not all, of the issues stem from self‑centeredness. Self-centeredness opens the door to grief, offense, hurt, and many other problems, including these seven ways that many husbands and wives injure each other:
 
Seven ways a wife injures her husband unknowingly:
1. Putting him down and criticizing him in front of others
2. Going behind him when he does something at home
3. Badgering him constantly
4. Using the “you always” phrase
5. Holding him responsible for her emotional well-being
6. Complaining about what she does not have or does not get to do
7. Showing no appreciation for his efforts
 
Seven ways a husband injures his wife unknowingly:
1. Cuts her out of the discussion
2. Fails to notice the difference she makes
3. Underestimates the small things
4. Speaks curtly or rudely, talks down to her
5. Corrects her as she is talking
6. Acts suspiciously or tries to hide information from her
7. Admires other women over her
 
When we are self‑centered, we ignore the needs of others and only focus on our own. Husbands and wives can injure each other without being aware of it because all they are focused on are themselves, rather than the other person in the marriage. Take some time this week to disregard what has been said or done to you and really consider the other person’s needs. Commit to allowing God to use you to be a blessing to them however He sees fit.
 
Prayer for Today
Father, we humble ourselves under Your mighty hand, asking You to use us to be a blessing to our spouse or loved one this week. Show us ways to honor and not hurt them, regardless of what they have or have not done. Help us walk in love and forgiveness. We can do nothing apart from You and we believe that, as we walk in love, they will experience who You are in us and be forever changed for the better. It is in Jesus’ name that we pray and believe.
 
Amen.
 
 
 
Scripture References
Hebrews 12:14‑16 | Proverbs 17:14 | Mark 8:34 | Philippians 2:3 | John 14:2 | Proverbs 13:10 | 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5, AMP