Women always complain of lack of commitment from men. Here are four mistakes we do that get in the way of our commitment they need from men.
Mistake #1: Focusing On Events, Not Feelings
We women are taught to believe that events, and the time we “put in,” MEAN SOMETHING to a man. If he’s introduced us to his family or friends at work we’re on cloud nine. We think of these as “milestones” moving us closer to commitment and marriage. And we couldn’t be more wrong.
Time means NOTHING to a man. Sometimes, being in a comfortable HOLDING PATTERN with us is EXACTLY what he has in mind! They spend time with us, but then they go and commit to someone else.
Unless we can get into our man’s heart, and let him into ours to create a deep emotional bond, we DOOM ourselves to a superficial level that will never lead to a lifelong commitment.
Mistake #2: Thinking Exclusive = Committed
…women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed…
How many of you have been comfortable in a relationship, only to have the man you are with meet someone else, or tell you he’s “found someone who really gets me.” How can it be that a man who is exclusive with you can “fall for” someone else so easily? It’s because he was not committed to you.
Oftentimes, women focus on getting a man to be exclusive – but this is only a temporary state. Instead, you need to focus on getting him committed to you. When that happens, he’ll be exclusive AND won’t “fall for” another woman ever again!
Mistake #3: Talking About Your Relationship, Not Creating It
Often when women feel their man becoming distant, they decide to TALK to him about it. To ask how he’s feeling, why he’s acting this way, or where the relationship is going.
When you talk to a man about your relationship, you have the OPPOSITE effect on him than you intend. Though we often hear men say how much they hate how “emotional” women are – this is exactly the part they CRAVE. They are so stuck in their brains, so much of the time, that if we’re stuck in ours, they can’t connect to us.
Every time we TALK about the relationship, it feels to him like a laundry list of to do items instead of INSPIRING a man to want to be with us.
Mistake #4: You Panic… He Leaves
Because we know that “Lifelong-Commitment” is a frightening thing to a man, we’re often afraid to say or do anything that might scare him more.
It’s easy to get paralyzed by fear and anger and stop being ourselves. We stop being the fun, relaxed women who he originally fell for who made him great before.
Photo Credit: pngfly.com
I found this funny story about how one person action and in-action is directly affecting another person.
BOSS says to SECRETARY: For a week, we will be traveling abroad, so make arrangements.
SECRETARY makes a call to her Husband: For a week my boss and I will be going abroad, so look after yourself.
HUSBAND makes call to SECRET LOVER: My wife is going abroad for a week, so let’s spend the week together.
SECRET LOVER makes a call to a LITTLE BOY whom she is giving private lessons: I have to work for a week, so you need not come for class.
LITTLE BOY makes call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a week, I don’t have classes because my teacher is busy. Let’s spend the week together.
Grandpa ( d BOSS ) makes a call to his SECRETARY: This week I am spending time with my grandson. We can’t attend the meeting any longer.
SECRETARY makes a call to her HUSBAND: My boss has some personal matters to attend to, so our trip is canceled.
HUSBAND makes a call to SECRET LOVER: We cannot spend this week together; my wife has canceled her trip.
SECRET LOVER makes a call to LITTLE BOY whom she is giving private lessons: This
week we will have classes as usual.
LITTLE BOY makes a call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my teacher said this week I
have to attend class. Sorry I can’t keep you company.
Grandpa makes a call to his secretary: Don’t worry, this week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangements.
MY QUESTION IS- WHO CONTROLS THIS CHAIN?