Towards a Better Marriage 3: Accept Your Spouse as Your Mr/Mrs Right.

Victors Corner Blog

Before you got married, you searched for your ever elusive Mr/Mrs Right. After you got married, do you think you made the right choice? Or, is your mind playing games with you that you made a mistake in your choice of spouse?

Welcome to the third post in thetowards a better marriageseries. In theintroductory post,we talked aboutthe fact that problems are inevitable in marriage. But it was also pointed out that your spouse is not the problem personified.

If you see your spouse as the problem in your marriage, you will end up blaming him/her anytime anything goes wrong in the relationship.

The blame game is not a pleasant game to engage in. Thatled us to the second post in the series:6 Simple Reasons You Should Not Blame Your Spouse.

We saw that blaming your spouse doesnot solve the problem in your marriage…

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Many husbands and wives struggle with guilt from wrong sexual choices they’ve made in the past. Others are bitter about wrong choices made by an abuser. Still others wrestle with anger over wrong choices a spouse has made in having an affair.


These ghosts from the past can have profound negative effects on a marriage – both in the bedroom and in every other area of a relationship. A husband who won’t take personal responsibility for his actions may unfairly accuse his wife of wrongdoing. A wife who was abused as a child may be too inhibited to be intimate. Spouses who had sexual relations with each other before marriage while publicly professing a commitment to wait may blame each other for the shame they feel.

If dark clouds of this sort are hanging over your marriage, take heart. It is possible to leave the past behind and make a new start. The solution in every instance is to embrace reality and cultivate honesty. It’s a matter of turning a deaf ear to Satan’s lies and learning to speak truth about your past. The words of the apostle Paul have a special application to this situation: “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2).

If you’re suffering from the fallout of your sexual past, here are some things you should keep in mind.

 1) Unresolved hurt from your sexual past disrupts healthy sexual functioning. Many people have been pressured into a sexual act at some point in their lives. The intense emotions that are part of such events are often too much for a child or adolescent to process. Consensual sex prior to, or outside of, marriage may also influence present sexual functioning. If either of these scenarios describes you, don’t be surprised or alarmed if you’re experiencing sexual difficulties in your marriage. Instead, face the problem honestly and determine to seek a solution.

 2) Problems are opportunities to draw closer to God. A troubled sexual past may look insurmountable, but it isn’t – not if you run toward God instead of away from Him. Only a relationship with Him through Christ can set us free from guilt, shame, and anger.

 3) God wants to heal the deep hurts of your sexual past. Healing is available, but it has to be individually applied to each wounding of the human spirit. The first step in sexual healing is gaining the courage to face your pain. This process may be time-consuming and may require the help of others. Because broken trust is always involved at some level, you must deal simultaneously with the two things you fear most: recalling the trauma and becoming vulnerable again.

4) Core beliefs, thoughts, and feelings affect present sexual behavior. Outward behavior is really the tip of an iceberg composed of underlying emotions, thoughts, and core beliefs. Great freedom comes from understanding these factors and the deeper assumptions that drive them.

 5) Professional help is often needed to resolve past sexual hurts. Under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and with the help of qualified Christian therapists, many sexually wounded people come to experience profound emotional healing. This includes breaking longstanding destructive behavior patterns.

Songs of Solomon 2:10-13



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Joni Erickson Tada – “Faith isn’t the ability to believe long and far into the misty future. It’s simply taking God at His Word and taking the next step.”
Eddie Zepeda – “Faith is doing God’s will when you don’t feel like it.”
Eddie Zepeda – “Say what you heard so you can see what you said.” Or – “Say what you heard so you can see what you heard.”

faith 1

Me – “Seeing is not believing. Faith comes by hearing, and seeing comes by believing and acting on what you heard.”
Mark Victor Hansen – “Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.”

Ralph Hodgson –
“Some things have to be believed to be seen.”
Kamran Karimi –“The Bible is not supposed to make sense, it is supposed to make faith.”
Carrie Judd Montgomery – “You get faith by studying the Word. Study that Word until something in you “knows that you know” and that you do not just hope that you know.”


Henry Clay Trumbull – “Not prayer without faith, nor faith without prayer, but prayer in faith, is the cost of spiritual gifts and graces.”
Me – “It is faith alone, in Christ alone, which alone moves God, when you are alone.”
Bible in Basic English…”the words of my mouth came from the faith in my heart; in the same way, our words are the outcome of our faith;” II Corinthians 4:13
George Mueller – “The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety.”

Kenneth E. Hagin Sr. – “Feed your faith and starve your doubts.”
Kenneth E. Hagin Sr. – “Faith begins where the will of God is known.”
C. Nuzum – “Faith is the hand with which we take from God. When we have met all the conditions and taken what God is offering us, we must believe that we have that thing.”




– A heart warming story from Africa

The motivation behind the Ubuntu culture …

An anthropologist proposed a game to the African tribal children …

He placed a basket of sweets near a tree

And made the children stand 100 metres away.

Then announced that whoever reaches first would get all the sweets in the basket.

When he said ‘ready steady go!’ …

Do you know what these children did?

They held each other’s hands, ran together towards the tree, divided the sweets equally among themselves, ate the sweets and enjoyed it.

When the anthropologist asked them why they did so, they answered ‘Ubuntu’.

Which meant –
_’How can one be happy when the others are sad?’_

Ubuntu in their language means –
_’I am because we are!’_

A strong message for all generations. Let all of us always have this attitude and spread happiness wherever we go.

Let us strive to have an *_Ubuntu_* life …



Take A Laugh

Little Johnny asks his teacher: Excuse Ma, if you mix Omo detergent and klin detergent, will there be foam?
Teacher responded: Yes of course, why ask such a stupid and senseless question at the beginning of the year, are you going to pass this class at all?
Little Johnny laughs and whispers to the other kids, what a dumb teacher!, how can you get foam when you mix Omo detergent & Klin detergent without adding water, are we going to know anything at all with this teacher.

Power of Intention

I saw this on source of inspiration blog and I want my readers to also learn.

I n all we say our soul is revealed
N o one is harmed more than he with mal-intent
T ruth shines through
E ach intention becomes its reality
N ever is good intention wasted
T ime is often needed for good intentions to manifest
I ntention is the fuel of action
O ur intentions create
N ever decide without knowing your intention

by Pat Cegan

Grow With Change


Change is inevitable, but growth is optional; you’ll either fight it or flow with it, but know this-if you’re not willing to leave Egypt, you’ll never get to the Promised Land.
Author Gayle Sheehey says, “if you can’t change, you won’t grow, and if you’re not growing, you’re not really living. Growth means giving up familiar but limiting patterns, safe but unrewarding work, values no longer believed in, and relationships that have lost their meaning. Taking a new step or uttering a new word is what we fear most, but in reality, our fear should be the exact opposite.”
Rabbi Samuel Silver writes, “The greatest of all miracles is that we need not to be tomorrow what we are today, if only we’ll use the potential implanted within us by God.”
I can’t think of anything worse than living a stagnant life devoid of change and improvement-can you.
You must accept the change and grow along with it to have. Successful and full filed life.
Today and now is the best time to change, make the decision to grow then accept the change and grow with it.

credit: Forgetting your past By Bob Gass

New Beginning

8 is the number of new beginning so is this 8 day of the 8 month of my 28th year of existing on the planet earth to me. I am forgetting all about my past and I am starting all over.
It does not matter what the past seems or look but what the future holds for those tha t believe and strive towards it. Don’t for get the life can be repaired remake n replace.