Always Remember To Drop The Glass

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the “half empty or half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: “How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed – incapable of doing anything.”

Remember to put the glass down.
‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God’ Phlp 4:6 (NIV)
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written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

What do you do when the pressures seems to be taking the pleasure out of your relationships and marriage?

2Co 4:8 KJV
We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

Pressure is anything that exerts undue strength in a negative way on the mind, reducing productivity. Pressure (especially in relationship) usually affects the mind adversely. An issue becomes a pressure when it brings mental distress. The pressures of life and relationships are very real. It is better to be prepared for any inevitable challenge before they emerge; in this way, you would be pressure-proof! Before entering a relationship, understand
that it has its own challenges just like every other thing.

One effective way of handling pressure is to focus your thoughts on things that give you inner strength rather than on those that generate so much negative energy, draining life away from you. The law of attraction explains it beautifully; it says that you attract into your life, your most dominant thoughts. In other words, you will have what you always think about. Your thoughts can either be a source of pressure or excitement. If you focus on the negative sides of situations, you’ll attract more negativity into your life.

Supposing you are faced with financial challenges in your relationship and you need more money to enable you attend to some pressing issues, it would be wrong to focus your mind on regrets of absence of money (which would cause pressure in your mind). It is rather more beneficial to see yourself living in abundance no matter how ridiculous and crazy it may seem, given prevalent external circumstances.

Your thoughts make things; they create things, and you can make your beautiful imaginations work out. You can simply eradicate all forms of pressure in your mind by refocusing your mind on positive things.

There are several causes of pressure in relationships including:

a.    Fear and uncertainty
The fear of getting the right spouse who wouldn’t treat you harshly or abuse and jilt you is a terrible source of pressure. There is also the fear of not meeting and having your right spouse in time. The right way to handle this fear and its pressure is to focus your mind on the truth that God has the right spouse for you, and he or she will come at God’s appointed time.

Fear can immobilize and incapacitate. Fear can also cause you to hasten unnecessarily into dangerous terrains. Whichever way, you need to know that God has not given you the Spirit of fear. Don’t end up marrying an unbeliever because of fear of old age. You cannot try to fix a pressure by violating God’s injunctions. It’s not going to work that way! You cannot jump ahead of God’s timing and expect things to work out. At the end of the day, what you venture into out of fear keeps the process elongated.

2Ti 1:7 KJV
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.

Cast out the Spirit of fear and trust your father to give you the best.

b.     Comparison Traps
Another dangerous source of pressure is comparing yourself with your friends and colleagues, especially when they are all either engaged or married. You can either be strengthened or intimidated by your friends; do not be intimidated. Understand that you are uniquely different from every other person; your destiny is quite different from theirs, so your life’s story is also different. A friend’s success should not determine your direction. It is comparison traps that often drive one into adulterous relationships all in the bid to ‘belong’ or to meet financial pressures. Avoid this trap as much as possible, because when you keep trying to be like everybody else, you will be like nobody else at the end of the day.

2Co 10:12 KJV
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.

c.    Parental Pressure
Parents usually wish to see their grand children on time. Also, they get anxious about your success in life and wouldn’t want you to miss out on any advantage of life they feel is due to you at the time. This can also constitute pressure. Do not yield to such pressure just to satisfy your parents when you know in your heart that God isn’t leading you yet.

You cannot please your parents at the expense of God. Your parents cannot sustain your marriage, it is only God that can. While it is good to obey and listen to your parents according to the scripture, you cannot obey them when what they are asking you to do clearly violate the principles of God.

d. Environmental and Media Pressure
A lot of destinies are warped today because of warped outlook of a given society at any point in time. We live in a sexualized age aided by print and media broadcast, which makes available pornographic and other sinful materials.

However, the environment is not an excuse in any way as God expects that your light shine forth in the midst of the darkness. God expects that you stay chaste and refuse to compromise despite all the pressures that come your way. That is how to show your maturity in God.

As married couples, you will also face a lot of pressures from in-laws, from work or even from your spouse. What is important is to learn to cast your care upon Jesus because He cares for you! Don’t hibernate into your cocoon of ‘self and me’ when pressured, remember you are now married. It’s not all about you again but about the two of you! 

I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God. I exercise authority over all situations and circumstances in Jesus name. I will not crumble under pressures in Jesus name.
Lord, strengthen daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
Jas 1:13 MSGDon’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all stress sources, and work towards eliminating one at a time.

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Never Give Up

One day a young lady was driving
along with her father.They came
a storm, and the young lady asked
father, What should I do?”He said
“keep driving”. Cars began to pull
over to the side, the storm was
getting worse.
“What should I do.” The young
“Keep driving,” her father replied.
On up a few feet, she noticed that
eighteen wheelers were also
over.She told her dad, “I must pull
over, I can barely see ahead. It is
terrible, and everyone is pulling
Her father told her, “Don’t give up,
just keep driving!”
Now the storm was terrible, but
never stopped driving, and soon
could see a little more clearly. After
couple of miles she was again on
land, and the sun came out.
Her father said, “Now you can pull
over and get out.”
She said “But why now?”
He said “When you get out,look
at all the people that gave up and
still in the storm, because you
gave up your storm is now over.
This is a testimony for anyone
who is
going through “hard times”.
Just because everyone else,even
strongest, gives up. You don’t
to…if you keep going, soon your
storm will be over and the sun will
shine upon your face again, know
that God is
always by ur side.

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Falling in love ought not to be falling out of sense, these are the questions to ask

Define who you want. You must not get to a point of desperation or forlornness as to be confused about who you want in terms of spiritual standing. Never give consideration to a man who has no relationship with God.

There are a few questions you should ask before saying ‘I want to do’ or ‘I do.’

1. Can you see yourself in the picture of the future of your intended spouse?
If you are unsure of his future, be careful before you dabble into it.

How do you peep into his future? You do that by looking at his vision and passion now. His vision is indicated in his aspirations and his passion is indicated in his present

2. Do you love enough?
How do you know if you love him?

A.    Do you respect him or her? 
His or her body, interest, parents, ideas? Or is he just interested in sex? Is it really about your person or just about your body? Those are two different things.

B.    Do you give to him or her?
Or are you just receiving? Are you interested in giving or just grabbing?

C.    How do his family, friends and associates treat you?
Are you welcome or treated with disdain? There is no point staying where you are not valued or celebrated.

D.    Is he a representation of 1Cor.13:4-7?
He may not be able to fulfill all of it, but in the least, those verses should be his or her guiding principles.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first,’ Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel, Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, But keeps going to the end. Love never dies. (1Co 13:4-8 MSG)

3. Are you proud of him or her?
Are you proud of him or her physically? How do you feel when both of you walk down the road? Do you feel proud, honoured and confident? Or do you feel embarrassed and ashamed of his or her person and presence?
Are you proud of his cognitive abilities? Do you feel embarrassed when he or she talks in the public?

Are you proud of his or her spiritual life? Or are you filled with fear, anxiety and trepidation at his spiritual ineptitude?

4. Is it time? Is it the right time?

To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: (Ecc 3:1 KJV)

For everything there is a fixed time, and a time for every business under the sun. (Eccl 3:1 BBE)

There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
(Eccl 3:1 MSG)
5. Is he or she accountable to any spiritual authority?
Accountability to spiritual authority means your intended spouse understands the place of wisdom and counsel. Accountability reduces his or her chances of dumping you. Is he or she submissive to authority or just an island to himself? It is risky to get involved with spiritually rebellious people because he or she will drag you into the rebellion and the consequences are debilitating.

6. Is the feeling mutual?
Does he really want you or he just wants a sex toy? Does he want you or your body? That he is coming after you or giving you attention does not mean he or she loves you. You set out and went out to buy a chicken. Do you love the chicken? No. It’s going to end up in the pot. Does he love you or he just wants you to end up on his bed? Marriage is like a bird, it takes two wings to fly.

7. Is God in it?
Is there peace? A home without God is a hostel. Any investment in a relationship not founded on God’s principles is a waste.

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
(Psa 127:1 KJV)

 If GOD doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks. If GOD doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap.
(Psa 127:1 MSG)
For those already married, you will find out he or she is not always perfect. Rather than get frustrated with his or her weaknesses leading to several quarrels, take it to God in prayer who has the heart of Kings in his hand s and can turn it whichever way he wants!
Find out what God says. It is every important!  

I pray for you this morning that God will guide you, lead you and give you specific direction concerning your relationship and marriage. You will not miss it in Jesus name. You will be not distracted. As you stay in God’s word, light will dawn on your soul to destroy every confusing spirits in Jesus name.

I will not be misled. I have the Spirit of God. I am led by the Spirit of God to choose rightly.

Lord, help me to have a discerning heart, to choose rightly and wisely in Jesus Name

Rom 8:14 KJV
(14)  For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

Think deeply on “Who do I want as a Spouse’

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Three important things every lady or wife should focus on and what every man should watch out for

1Pe 3:3-4 MSG
What matters is not your outer appearance–the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes(4)but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.

This morning, I want to write about ladies and I want to write for ladies. This will be good for every lady to read to know where they need to make adjustments and for every man to read to know what to watch out for in a potential lady.

I get called by ladies who are worried about not being married
while their biological clock is ticking away. There could be a lot of reasons for delay, and sometimes, what we see as a delayed marriage is actually an appropriate time in God’s plan.

You see, ladies, you need to know that preparation is a major key as you have been entrusted with a great and sensitive assignment, to be a help-meet for your husband. Look at the way amplified version puts it:

Gen 2:18 AMP
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.

To give you more perspective, there is no other person in the scripture who is referred to as the helper except you and the Holy Spirit! No wonder, God wants men to handle their wives with utmost care and love!

When you stress your wife unnecessarily, can I tell you the truth? You are stressing yourself! Don’t fight against your help!

Here are three areas every single and married lady should focus on

a.    Character
Your character is your true personality behind closed doors. This is quite different from your reputation which is what you have made people believe you are. You can’t put up a false character always. Your character is your great asset as you move into married life.
Nothing follows you into marriage and sustains you in it except your character which you have built up over the preparatory years. You can act during courtship, but your acting dexterity dies after marriage and your real self becomes open.

How do you build character? Learn from mistakes and make adjustments. Don’t gloss over failures. Find out why it didn’t work and make deliberate corrections. Think through on issues. Learn to confront yourself. Ask questions from mentors and those that have gone ahead of you. Be guided by God’s word and principles. Put your body under. Refuse to compromise.

b.    Charisma
This is the manifestation of your attitudinal disposition. Your positive attitude is the lift you need to take you higher in life without much struggle. Develop positive attitudes and your life will always experience positive effects.

Always wear a genuine smile on your face; it’s the cheapest and yet the most priceless gift you could offer someone especially when they really need it for encouragement. Also develop other positive attitudes and attributes like courage, integrity, joy and so on.

Avoid strife like a plague because that is what it is. Strife will stifle things. Learn to forgive your fiancé or husband easily because there will always be issues. Practice advance forgiveness.

The pressure of anticipation and expectation of a married life is not limited to ladies alone. Men also have their own share of desiring to be married. For men, the bulk of preparation for marriage is in the development of a sense of responsibility and the ability to take charge and assume the responsibility. After creating him, God gave man (Adam) the responsibility of caring for his environment (Garden of Eden and the animals) and of course, his family (wife, Eve).

c.    Culture
Be cultured and refined in attitudes and behaviours. Be courteous. Learn the basic ethics of your culture, your prospective husband’s culture and the culture prevalent in your environment as the case may be. For instance, in Africa, respect for elders is an important criterion for a good reputation and favour with man.

Here also, a lady is considered uncultured if she cannot do certain basic household chores. Train yourself to be efficient. There is dignity in work, especially keeping the home. The basic qualities of the ideal woman of Proverbs chapter 31 are her abilities in good planning, leadership and domestic maintenance.

Be a hardworking woman. Laziness will put you at loggerheads with your husband. Learn to cook! Food is important to men! He wouldn’t want to eat nodules and flakes all the time.

Singles, don’t cheat on you fiancé! You don’t want to plant that kind of seed into your relationship. Don’t double date. Do it right so that you can rejoice. Married women, be faithful. Do not succumb to the devilish antics of your colleague or boss at work. He seems nice and has a listening ear than your husband, is that why you should hop in bed with him? It is all a trap of the devil to sift you like wheat. The devil knows that desecration of marital covenant can cut you off from God and His support and favour, He knows your prayers will be hindered that way. It’s a trap! It’s a snare of the fowler! Don’t do it!

Avoid emotional affairs. You may not be in bed physically, but you are already in the bed with someone else apart from your husband in your mind. Emotional affairs are valid acts of unfaithfulness. It will stress you. It will draw you back. You can be in bed with your husband and be imagining somebody else before you can enjoy making love with your husband. What an affliction! That is the height of emotional affair, and you cannot be blessed like that! Your affection is directed at dual personalities and you are rewiring your brain wrongly. You see, your husband is your head according to scripture. You cannot have two heads! Anything with two heads is a monster! Do you see the spiritual implication of trifling with emotionl affairs now? Over time, if you are not careful, you can be trapped like that because what happens in the mind will always happen in time. The same goes for the men!

How do you nip emotional affairs in the bud? Discuss everything and all things with your husband. Once you are open about that, it kills the energy for emotional affairs. But when you internalize it and secretly enjoy the game, you are strengthening it.

How I pray for you this morning that your eyes will open this morning, that in order to enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings, His favour, and all you have been praying for, you need to be wholly and whole-heartedly devoted to your husband in your actions and thoughts!

Eph 5:23 KJV
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

I have a great character. I have the right attitudes. I am cultured and courteous. I have positive attitudes

Lord, prepare me as a vessel unto honour in Jesus Name

1Pe 3:3-4 AMP
(3)  Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes;
(4)  But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.

Study the words ‘Character,’ ‘Culture’ and ‘Charisma.’

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Faliure Is Not The Oppsite Off Success

Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s a stepping stone to success . If you are not willing to fail, to learn and adapt along the way, you are not willing to be great

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

A Wake Up Call To All Nigerians

I saw the post by I G Wala on face book I like all Nigerians to see it too.
We must commend all citizens for our collective effort to stand by the oppressed and call for probe of the Security Operatives on the killings of the youths in Apo. This symbolizes the need for coming together to fight all ills and claim justice for the dead and enhance security for the living. We urge each one of us to kindly make a little sacrifice by picking your phone and calling or sending an SMS with a soft message requesting for the following personalities to remorsefully take this issue for the sake of our dead brothers:
– Mr. President
– Vice President
– Senate President
– Deputy Sen. President
– Hon. Speaker
– Dep. Speaker
– All Senators
– All Members of the House of Reps
– All Members of the Executive Council
– All Governors
– All Ministers
– All Advisers to the President
– All Security Heads
– All Judges
– All Ambassadors
– All Traditional Leaders
– All Religious Leaders
– All Unions and Civil Society Groups
– All Ex Leaders
– Etc

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Your Destiny Is In Your Hands

A must read:

Akpos went to a native doctor and requested to know how bright his destiny would be. The native doctor drew a circle with a white chalk and another circle with a black chalk. After that, he placed a dead millipede on the floor and asked Akpos to watch carefully. He said hewould recite some incantation to make the dead millipede start crawling. He told Akpos that if the millipede crawls into the white circle, it means that his destinywill be bright but if it crawls inside the black circle, it means his destiny will be dark. Finally he started his incantation and the dead millipede started crawling. When it got in between the two circles, it turned and started crawling towards the black circle. Akpos watched and immediately it was about entering the black circle, Akpos picked it and gently dropped it inside the white circle. The native doctor who got furious asked Akpos why he did that, Akpos replied; i won’t fold my arms and watch my destiny crawl into darkness because my destiny is in my hands. Goodmorning in Advance! Smile and go back to bed!

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Your Destiny Is In Your Hands

A must read:

Akpos went to a native doctor and requested to know how bright his destiny would be. The native doctor drew a circle with a white chalk and another circle with a black chalk. After that, he placed a dead millipede on the floor and asked Akpos to watch carefully. He said hewould recite some incantation to make the dead millipede start crawling. He told Akpos that if the millipede crawls into the white circle, it means that his destinywill be bright but if it crawls inside the black circle, it means his destiny will be dark. Finally he started his incantation and the dead millipede started crawling. When it got in between the two circles, it turned and started crawling towards the black circle. Akpos watched and immediately it was about entering the black circle, Akpos picked it and gently dropped it inside the white circle. The native doctor who got furious asked Akpos why he did that, Akpos replied; i won’t fold my arms and watch my destiny crawl into darkness because my destiny is in my hands. Goodmorning in Advance! Smile and go back to bed!

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi