1Pe 3:3-4 MSG
What matters is not your outer appearance–the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes(4)but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.
This morning, I want to write about ladies and I want to write for ladies. This will be good for every lady to read to know where they need to make adjustments and for every man to read to know what to watch out for in a potential lady.
I get called by ladies who are worried about not being married
while their biological clock is ticking away. There could be a lot of reasons for delay, and sometimes, what we see as a delayed marriage is actually an appropriate time in God’s plan.
You see, ladies, you need to know that preparation is a major key as you have been entrusted with a great and sensitive assignment, to be a help-meet for your husband. Look at the way amplified version puts it:
Gen 2:18 AMP
Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper meet (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
To give you more perspective, there is no other person in the scripture who is referred to as the helper except you and the Holy Spirit! No wonder, God wants men to handle their wives with utmost care and love!
When you stress your wife unnecessarily, can I tell you the truth? You are stressing yourself! Don’t fight against your help!
Here are three areas every single and married lady should focus on
Your character is your true personality behind closed doors. This is quite different from your reputation which is what you have made people believe you are. You can’t put up a false character always. Your character is your great asset as you move into married life.
Nothing follows you into marriage and sustains you in it except your character which you have built up over the preparatory years. You can act during courtship, but your acting dexterity dies after marriage and your real self becomes open.
How do you build character? Learn from mistakes and make adjustments. Don’t gloss over failures. Find out why it didn’t work and make deliberate corrections. Think through on issues. Learn to confront yourself. Ask questions from mentors and those that have gone ahead of you. Be guided by God’s word and principles. Put your body under. Refuse to compromise.
This is the manifestation of your attitudinal disposition. Your positive attitude is the lift you need to take you higher in life without much struggle. Develop positive attitudes and your life will always experience positive effects.
Always wear a genuine smile on your face; it’s the cheapest and yet the most priceless gift you could offer someone especially when they really need it for encouragement. Also develop other positive attitudes and attributes like courage, integrity, joy and so on.
Avoid strife like a plague because that is what it is. Strife will stifle things. Learn to forgive your fiancé or husband easily because there will always be issues. Practice advance forgiveness.
The pressure of anticipation and expectation of a married life is not limited to ladies alone. Men also have their own share of desiring to be married. For men, the bulk of preparation for marriage is in the development of a sense of responsibility and the ability to take charge and assume the responsibility. After creating him, God gave man (Adam) the responsibility of caring for his environment (Garden of Eden and the animals) and of course, his family (wife, Eve).
Be cultured and refined in attitudes and behaviours. Be courteous. Learn the basic ethics of your culture, your prospective husband’s culture and the culture prevalent in your environment as the case may be. For instance, in Africa, respect for elders is an important criterion for a good reputation and favour with man.
Here also, a lady is considered uncultured if she cannot do certain basic household chores. Train yourself to be efficient. There is dignity in work, especially keeping the home. The basic qualities of the ideal woman of Proverbs chapter 31 are her abilities in good planning, leadership and domestic maintenance.
Be a hardworking woman. Laziness will put you at loggerheads with your husband. Learn to cook! Food is important to men! He wouldn’t want to eat nodules and flakes all the time.
Singles, don’t cheat on you fiancé! You don’t want to plant that kind of seed into your relationship. Don’t double date. Do it right so that you can rejoice. Married women, be faithful. Do not succumb to the devilish antics of your colleague or boss at work. He seems nice and has a listening ear than your husband, is that why you should hop in bed with him? It is all a trap of the devil to sift you like wheat. The devil knows that desecration of marital covenant can cut you off from God and His support and favour, He knows your prayers will be hindered that way. It’s a trap! It’s a snare of the fowler! Don’t do it!
Avoid emotional affairs. You may not be in bed physically, but you are already in the bed with someone else apart from your husband in your mind. Emotional affairs are valid acts of unfaithfulness. It will stress you. It will draw you back. You can be in bed with your husband and be imagining somebody else before you can enjoy making love with your husband. What an affliction! That is the height of emotional affair, and you cannot be blessed like that! Your affection is directed at dual personalities and you are rewiring your brain wrongly. You see, your husband is your head according to scripture. You cannot have two heads! Anything with two heads is a monster! Do you see the spiritual implication of trifling with emotionl affairs now? Over time, if you are not careful, you can be trapped like that because what happens in the mind will always happen in time. The same goes for the men!
How do you nip emotional affairs in the bud? Discuss everything and all things with your husband. Once you are open about that, it kills the energy for emotional affairs. But when you internalize it and secretly enjoy the game, you are strengthening it.
How I pray for you this morning that your eyes will open this morning, that in order to enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings, His favour, and all you have been praying for, you need to be wholly and whole-heartedly devoted to your husband in your actions and thoughts!
Eph 5:23 KJV
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have a great character. I have the right attitudes. I am cultured and courteous. I have positive attitudes
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
Lord, prepare me as a vessel unto honour in Jesus Name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
1Pe 3:3-4 AMP
(3) Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes;
(4) But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Study the words ‘Character,’ ‘Culture’ and ‘Charisma.’
written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi