Women: Men Now Are Not After Sexiness

Are black women sexy? No doubt! When it comes to sexiness sisters have no equal. But can I be honest with you? I’m actually TIRED of sexy black women. Now hear me out on this, please.

Sexiness don’t mean jack snot. Not in the grand scheme of things. Visually appealing, yes. But I can’t eat sexiness. Sexiness won’t help pay these bills or pay off our student loans. Sexiness won’t qualify for a mortgage, or get people to respect you, sexiness wont allow me set my next big business move.

Sexiness won’t help me raise these kids. Neither will it teach my daughters their true worth and value in this world.

We got way too many ‘Sexy’ sisters out here with nothing else to bring to the table. Sexiness is the totality of their package. And that’s WACK!

Most black men looking for a relationship want a USEFUL woman. Visual appeal alone won’t cut it. Besides: there are so many black women competing to be the sexiest, it’s not even a race worth entering.

Can you cook? Do you clean? Do you have mothering skills Do you love your father? Respect him? Respect other black men in general? Have you divested yourself of prior relationship baggage? Can you hold a conversation about REAL world events? And no: Love and Hip Hop doesn’t count!

Do you have a REAL relationship with a REAL God: or do you follow the fake one many Christians have invented for themselves because he’s more tolerable than the actual Truth?

These are the kind of questions discerning men are asking nowadays.

So if sexiness is all you bring to the table, you can keep it. I’d rather have a woman of pure unadulterated SUBSTANCE. And I’m sure I speak for most conscious-thinking brothers out there on this one.

There’s a new breed of black men out there ladies. And we ain’t settling for second best or taking any shorts. Either come correct or go get with the jacks and harries. That’s all many of you are use to dealing with anyway…

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Some things the singles cannot see and the married are not telling them.

Some things the singles cannot see and the married are not telling them.

We live in a dissatisfied generation. Those who are short in height wished they were taller. The white is tanning their bodies trying to get dark, the blacks are bleaching trying to get white. The young are tinting their hair white, the old are dyeing their hair black. Singles are posing with wedding ring, those married forget to wear it, those with beards are shaving off, those with none are using methylated spirit to grow some! Today, I have a story to tell. Are you ready for it? Here we go. Once upon a time, (time – time), when I was single, I looked forward to
marriage. Now that I am married, I missed the time I was single! End of story!
 
Singles will hardly believe that because all in their mind is to get married so that everything can change. I have been happily married for fourteen years and here are a few things I have learned that might bless you if you are still single.
 
1.    Marriage will not make you happier. Be happy before marriage. Marriage has no power in itself beyond the two people involved.
 
2.    Marriage will not change you. Change begins inwardly. Marriage is not a change agent. Marriage will not improve your attitudes, it will expose them. Marriage does not eliminate your weaknesses, it will amplify them. Start working on your attitudes and weaknesses before marriage.
 
3.    Marriage will not cure loneliness. There are several married people who have their spouses with them by the second, but are extremely lonely. Loneliness is more of a state of mind than availability of people around you. The loneliest people in the world are sometimes the ones with large number of fans and crowd around them. Only God’s word can cure the root cause of loneliness.
 
4.    Marriage will not take pressures away, it will probably bring more. You have one more life to manage. If you cannot manage yours and you venture into marriage, it will be a disaster. When the children start coming, there will be more pressures. Learn to take pressures head on by casting your care on Jesus and refusing to worry like the scripture advises.
 
5.    Marriage is not all about sex. Ask somebody who is married. Yes, sex is a marital glue, a healing balm in the soul for couples, and a blessing that keeps couples together. But it is not like you think, sex in the morning, afternoon and evening. Average couples actually make love twice or thrice in a week. However, the more frequent it is for married couples, the better for them.
 
6.    Your spouse will not be a magician neither is he the Holy Spirit. He will be a human being with his 
own issues. You will always need God. He might be very anointed on the pulpit and filled with God’s glory while she is ministering in the choir, but at home he or she is a human being with all the weaknesses complete. Learn to separate the office or position of your spouse from his or her person at home.
 
7.    Marriage is not all about kisses, flowers, cinemas, cakes, chocolates and vacations alone. It is about cooking, pampers, crying baby, working, paying school fees and so on. It is about budgets, plans, strategies and divine wisdom. It is about submission to your husband who you sometimes think is hard, insensitive and unloving. It is about loving your wife who you sometimes think is stubborn, does not want to be corrected and can nag from morning till next day.

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Some things the singles must learn and the married must do to make their spouse happy

Some things the singles must learn and the married must do to make their spouse happy
 
One man was avidly studying his wedding certificate for hours. Upon been asked why, he said he was looking for the expiry date! Sorry marriage does not expire, there is no reverse gear, so don’t only pray, but watch and pray before you make your decisions. Another man was watching his wedding tape, but this time backward! He saw himself remove the ring, walked out of the church entered his car and zoomed off. He wished he could do that in real life, but sorry! Marriage is a haven, not an oven. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. There is tremendous power in marriage as a couple.

The devil recognizes this power at your disposal as a married couple. That is why his intention is to throw a monkey wrench at your stuff. There are some precautions you can take in order to ensure that you are one with your spouse and that the power of agreement
is not broken. Singles must learn these principles as well so that their relationships and courtship can work out well. The Christian life is not hard to live, in fact it is when you don’t follow God that things get messed up and complicated. That is why Jesus Christ said his yoke his easy, learn about it, it is easier that way.

1.    If you want a successful marriage, never insult or abuse your spouse on account of someone else. Preserve your marriage by respecting your spouse inside and outside. Most courtship never last on this account. This is because for men, respect is a major issue. Every man is egocentric, although excessive egocentricity is not good.

2.    Never empower others against your spouse. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. You are one in marriage, and that is how God sees it. Support your spouse always. The same way, in courtship, once you see your partner is always against you in and out, it is a sign that there is a deeper problem to deal with.

3.    Never allow anybody to come and live with you in the house without the full agreement of your spouse. If your spouse is not in support, your attempt to help others can be at the expense of your marriage and it can drive you apart. Many marriages are under tremendous pressures because the wife is not only taking care of her husband but several siblings at a time. Issue will necessarily come out of this. Singles, never pack into your partner’s house when you are not yet married. You will lose your respect and things might not turn out well because you are walking in disobedience to God.

4.    Never oppose your spouse openly. Don’t build walls against yourself. If you must correct your spouse, don’t do it in the presence of his friends and colleagues, you might end up adding more to the issue. However, you can always have a confidant with whom both of you agree you can discuss with, because there are times you really need to pour your hearts out. Singles, it is a danger signal if you are accountable to no one in courtship and nobody can speak into your life. It is a very risky game!

5.    Never get close to others other than your spouse. Be your spouse’s friend and never allow anybody to come in between you. There are Delialahs, Jezebels, Amnons, Jonadabs and so on. The moment you know, and you always know that you are getting up close and emotional to someone apart from your spouse, cut it off, or else you will soon be in serious problems. The moment you can hide things from your spouse, it is the beginning of problems. The moment you can discuss your spouse with colleagues and they discuss theirs with you, you are going too far. The devil will set a trap. Avoid distractions. Double dating is not scriptural for singles.

As singles, never attempt to make your fiancee happy by compromising your virtues. You will never be able to secure a relationship by offering sex, you will actually jeopardize the relationship because you are violating God’s principles. Sex does not prove your love, it shows your ignorance because every time you offer your body to secure a relationship, you always lose the man or the relationship!

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi