Women: Men Now Are Not After Sexiness

Are black women sexy? No doubt! When it comes to sexiness sisters have no equal. But can I be honest with you? I’m actually TIRED of sexy black women. Now hear me out on this, please.

Sexiness don’t mean jack snot. Not in the grand scheme of things. Visually appealing, yes. But I can’t eat sexiness. Sexiness won’t help pay these bills or pay off our student loans. Sexiness won’t qualify for a mortgage, or get people to respect you, sexiness wont allow me set my next big business move.

Sexiness won’t help me raise these kids. Neither will it teach my daughters their true worth and value in this world.

We got way too many ‘Sexy’ sisters out here with nothing else to bring to the table. Sexiness is the totality of their package. And that’s WACK!

Most black men looking for a relationship want a USEFUL woman. Visual appeal alone won’t cut it. Besides: there are so many black women competing to be the sexiest, it’s not even a race worth entering.

Can you cook? Do you clean? Do you have mothering skills Do you love your father? Respect him? Respect other black men in general? Have you divested yourself of prior relationship baggage? Can you hold a conversation about REAL world events? And no: Love and Hip Hop doesn’t count!

Do you have a REAL relationship with a REAL God: or do you follow the fake one many Christians have invented for themselves because he’s more tolerable than the actual Truth?

These are the kind of questions discerning men are asking nowadays.

So if sexiness is all you bring to the table, you can keep it. I’d rather have a woman of pure unadulterated SUBSTANCE. And I’m sure I speak for most conscious-thinking brothers out there on this one.

There’s a new breed of black men out there ladies. And we ain’t settling for second best or taking any shorts. Either come correct or go get with the jacks and harries. That’s all many of you are use to dealing with anyway…

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Some things the singles cannot see and the married are not telling them.

Some things the singles cannot see and the married are not telling them.

We live in a dissatisfied generation. Those who are short in height wished they were taller. The white is tanning their bodies trying to get dark, the blacks are bleaching trying to get white. The young are tinting their hair white, the old are dyeing their hair black. Singles are posing with wedding ring, those married forget to wear it, those with beards are shaving off, those with none are using methylated spirit to grow some! Today, I have a story to tell. Are you ready for it? Here we go. Once upon a time, (time – time), when I was single, I looked forward to
marriage. Now that I am married, I missed the time I was single! End of story!
Singles will hardly believe that because all in their mind is to get married so that everything can change. I have been happily married for fourteen years and here are a few things I have learned that might bless you if you are still single.
1.    Marriage will not make you happier. Be happy before marriage. Marriage has no power in itself beyond the two people involved.
2.    Marriage will not change you. Change begins inwardly. Marriage is not a change agent. Marriage will not improve your attitudes, it will expose them. Marriage does not eliminate your weaknesses, it will amplify them. Start working on your attitudes and weaknesses before marriage.
3.    Marriage will not cure loneliness. There are several married people who have their spouses with them by the second, but are extremely lonely. Loneliness is more of a state of mind than availability of people around you. The loneliest people in the world are sometimes the ones with large number of fans and crowd around them. Only God’s word can cure the root cause of loneliness.
4.    Marriage will not take pressures away, it will probably bring more. You have one more life to manage. If you cannot manage yours and you venture into marriage, it will be a disaster. When the children start coming, there will be more pressures. Learn to take pressures head on by casting your care on Jesus and refusing to worry like the scripture advises.
5.    Marriage is not all about sex. Ask somebody who is married. Yes, sex is a marital glue, a healing balm in the soul for couples, and a blessing that keeps couples together. But it is not like you think, sex in the morning, afternoon and evening. Average couples actually make love twice or thrice in a week. However, the more frequent it is for married couples, the better for them.
6.    Your spouse will not be a magician neither is he the Holy Spirit. He will be a human being with his 
own issues. You will always need God. He might be very anointed on the pulpit and filled with God’s glory while she is ministering in the choir, but at home he or she is a human being with all the weaknesses complete. Learn to separate the office or position of your spouse from his or her person at home.
7.    Marriage is not all about kisses, flowers, cinemas, cakes, chocolates and vacations alone. It is about cooking, pampers, crying baby, working, paying school fees and so on. It is about budgets, plans, strategies and divine wisdom. It is about submission to your husband who you sometimes think is hard, insensitive and unloving. It is about loving your wife who you sometimes think is stubborn, does not want to be corrected and can nag from morning till next day.

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Some things the singles must learn and the married must do to make their spouse happy

Some things the singles must learn and the married must do to make their spouse happy
One man was avidly studying his wedding certificate for hours. Upon been asked why, he said he was looking for the expiry date! Sorry marriage does not expire, there is no reverse gear, so don’t only pray, but watch and pray before you make your decisions. Another man was watching his wedding tape, but this time backward! He saw himself remove the ring, walked out of the church entered his car and zoomed off. He wished he could do that in real life, but sorry! Marriage is a haven, not an oven. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. There is tremendous power in marriage as a couple.

The devil recognizes this power at your disposal as a married couple. That is why his intention is to throw a monkey wrench at your stuff. There are some precautions you can take in order to ensure that you are one with your spouse and that the power of agreement
is not broken. Singles must learn these principles as well so that their relationships and courtship can work out well. The Christian life is not hard to live, in fact it is when you don’t follow God that things get messed up and complicated. That is why Jesus Christ said his yoke his easy, learn about it, it is easier that way.

1.    If you want a successful marriage, never insult or abuse your spouse on account of someone else. Preserve your marriage by respecting your spouse inside and outside. Most courtship never last on this account. This is because for men, respect is a major issue. Every man is egocentric, although excessive egocentricity is not good.

2.    Never empower others against your spouse. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. You are one in marriage, and that is how God sees it. Support your spouse always. The same way, in courtship, once you see your partner is always against you in and out, it is a sign that there is a deeper problem to deal with.

3.    Never allow anybody to come and live with you in the house without the full agreement of your spouse. If your spouse is not in support, your attempt to help others can be at the expense of your marriage and it can drive you apart. Many marriages are under tremendous pressures because the wife is not only taking care of her husband but several siblings at a time. Issue will necessarily come out of this. Singles, never pack into your partner’s house when you are not yet married. You will lose your respect and things might not turn out well because you are walking in disobedience to God.

4.    Never oppose your spouse openly. Don’t build walls against yourself. If you must correct your spouse, don’t do it in the presence of his friends and colleagues, you might end up adding more to the issue. However, you can always have a confidant with whom both of you agree you can discuss with, because there are times you really need to pour your hearts out. Singles, it is a danger signal if you are accountable to no one in courtship and nobody can speak into your life. It is a very risky game!

5.    Never get close to others other than your spouse. Be your spouse’s friend and never allow anybody to come in between you. There are Delialahs, Jezebels, Amnons, Jonadabs and so on. The moment you know, and you always know that you are getting up close and emotional to someone apart from your spouse, cut it off, or else you will soon be in serious problems. The moment you can hide things from your spouse, it is the beginning of problems. The moment you can discuss your spouse with colleagues and they discuss theirs with you, you are going too far. The devil will set a trap. Avoid distractions. Double dating is not scriptural for singles.

As singles, never attempt to make your fiancee happy by compromising your virtues. You will never be able to secure a relationship by offering sex, you will actually jeopardize the relationship because you are violating God’s principles. Sex does not prove your love, it shows your ignorance because every time you offer your body to secure a relationship, you always lose the man or the relationship!

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi


Now,this is what the society and our families expect of us; As women,we are the African Queens, to be descently dressed,to keep our virginity untill marriage,to be morally, educationally and ethically sound,to be virtous and industrious, to have a happy home and train up children in the way of the Lord,to have babies only in marriage,but in 1 way or the other some of us could not meet up to all of that. But that does not mean that everyone out there is perfect and doesnt have their flaws. There is always a 2nd Chance. There should be sensitization, parents should not be shy to educate their children both the male and female child on sex Education and the dangers of keeping bad friends as company. Pls men,dont take advantage of teenagers because they are little,dont marry a 10 year old girl because she has nothing to offer,rather,you are destroying her future. Lets make the society a place to live in. Lets not forget the Moral and Ethics of Africa were we all come from.

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi


Should You Follow Your Head Or Your  Heart

Does your heart know more than your head?

Or is it the other way around?

Which one will lead to more happiness, purpose, and fulfillment?

The answer is both.

This is not about neglecting a part of you.

Instead, it’s about using everything at your disposal.

You have a head and a heart for a reason. They both help in their own way.


You Don’t Have to Choose

You don’t have to choose between your heart and your head.

The only reason you think they’re separate is because you’ve been told they are.

How do I know? Well, consider this: If you had no thoughts or concepts, how would you live?

You would just live, right? You would live life one moment at a time. You wouldn’t worry about your heart or your head.

But how do you listen to both? Let’s have a look.

How to Use Both Your Heart and Your Head

Your heart and your head are like two advisors. They operate in different ways and speak different languages.

Once you understand them, and understand how to leverage their strengths, you will make millions and become famous overnight.

Just kidding…

But it will change the way you live.

Here are 5 ways I listen to both my head and my heart:

  1. Start with your heart. I start by listening to my heart. I often feel drawn somewhere. I feel inspired to do something. Your heart may communicate with you in a different way. The more you listen, the better you’ll get at it. I go much deeper into this in my book, Follow Your Heart.
  2. Notice your fears. If my heart nudges me to do something meaningful, I’ll often run into fear. I’ll run into what if thoughts. I do my best to welcome them in. Fears are just my head making sure that I stay safe and that I don’t dive off a cliff.
  3. Let go. Next, I let go of my expectations. As I’m writing this article, I don’t worry about what you will think of it, because it would muddle what I feel inspired to write. It has taken me a long time to get to this place, so don’t think that you have to let go of everything today. And when I say let go of my expectations, I don’t mean I don’t have thoughts. I still have fearful thoughts, I just don’t give them as much attention as I used to.
  4. Listen to your head. You also have to remember to be practical. This is where your head, or mind, comes in. Your mind is great at breaking things down and living life logically. Most people live solely through their mind, but when you blend both heart and mind, things become easier. Not right away, but with time.
  5. Blend. I got the inspiration to write this article, but the practical part of me helped me outline, write, and edit. As time goes on, the blending of both heart and head will become more seamless. But before that happens, your head needs to see that following your heart is the best path.

Don’t Make My Tips Into Rules

The biggest mistake you can make is think that there’s a formula for following your heart.

The moment you give your power away to someone or something, you stop following your heart. The tips in this article are an example of what works for me.

In reality, there are no steps. If you want to follow your heart, you have to listen to yourself and have confidence in your own inner GPS.

This won’t happen overnight. You may need to try a few different “formulas,” but remember that you alone hold all the answers.

The struggle is not something to be gotten rid of, but something to be embraced.


So, should you follow your heart or your head?
Today is the last day to get my book at the early-bird price. Click the cover to learn more.

The answer is both. Learn to respect both. They are two advisors that help you live your life.

Remember that there is no rush. A big part of the anguish you feel is because you’re trying to force progress.

You are where you need to be right now. Wanting to be somewhere else is what creates tension. What if you let yourself be right here, just for a moment?

Take a deep breath and relax.

Enjoy this adventure we call life.

There will always be challenges.

You will always keep growing, so you might as well enjoy it.

Thank God

Thank you God for giving me another day,
another chance to become a better individual,
another chance to give and experience love.
Thank you God for giving me health,
for the food you provide,
for the awareness you have awaken in me…
Thank you for the energy that feeds my soul,
the sun that warms our bodies and the air that fills our lungs…
Because of you I believe in the good without the bad and the ugly
, because of you I am learning to love and accept myself,
because of you I believe in believing.
for I need you in order to fullfil my spiritual tasks…
God, show me how to love myself, to be able to love others.
Help me become the type of person that I would like to befriend,
help me forgive myself and forgive others…
God, make me a channel of your energy and help me understand.
I thank you God for giving me another day,
another unused opportunity to do it right.
Keep us all close to you and listen to our prayers.Amen.

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi


TGIF (The Goal is FOrWARD.)

This is one of the most empowering and up-lifting tunes! Perfect Friday song.

Ain’t no other direction to go except forward.

Get rid of emotional hindrances…




being thin-skinned

easily offended


We may feel these things from time to time, but that doesn’t mean we have to believe these things.

Today I simply choose peace.

I choose life!

I choose to move forward.

What can you leave behind today?

“Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends,

let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit,

perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.”

2 Corinthians 7:1

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Be Brave Be Kind Be Wise

Be Brave, Be Kind, Be Wise
by When I Blink
Back to school. Time to start being responsible(ish) again. Sigh.

I’m not sure if I’m a Tiger Mom or a Sloth Mom or a Shark Mom or an Exotic Albino Sandflea Mom or what. Honestly, I don’t know what in the name of Athena’s flashcards I’m doing most of the time. (Which is why I almost never write about parenting here.) I just try to apply some method to the madness, focus on what might be the most important values, and hope I’m not doing anything that makes these little people decide to be strippers or bounty hunters or mimes when they grow up.

One of the few things I do as a parent with any confidence and regularity is send my children out the door with these words every morning:

It’s kind of our mantra, I guess.

If we have a few extra minutes over breakfast, sometimes we elaborate on the finer points of our little code of ethics with a repeat-after-me Q&A. Like so:


Q: If something is hard to do, is that a reason not to do it?
A: Nope. That’s a reason to be extra proud after we’ve done it.

Q: What if we’re afraid we won’t be good at something?
A: Don’t think about being good at it. Think of it as trying something new.

Q: Do we choose to do something or not do something because we worry people will talk about us?
A: No. People will always talk. We can at least give them something interesting to talk about.

Q: Do we have to be the best at everything?
A: Nope.

Q: Do we have to do our best at everything?
A: Yes. Always.

Q: Even math?
A: Even math.


Q: Do we ever do something that will hurt someone else?
A: No.

Q: Do we ever take or break something belonging to someone else?
A: No.

Q: If we do, by accident or on purpose, harm someone else’s body, feelings, or property, what’s the first and most important thing to say?
A: I’m sorry.

Q: What do we do if we see someone who has nobody to play with, sit with, or talk to?
A: Play with them. Sit with them. Talk to them.

Q: What do we say to every teacher and staff person we see?
A: Thank you.

Q: Do we ever make fun of our own sibling at school?
A: No. Save that for home. Just kidding.

Q: Do we tell the truth?
A: Yes.


Q: Do we do anything on purpose that could result in our own serious injury?
A: No.

Q: Does every single thing that pops into our head need to be said out loud at the moment we think it?
A: Dude, seriously. No.

Q: Do we say or do something just because we heard it on TV, saw it on YouTube, or read it in a book?
A: No. This is real life.

Q: What about cutting holes in our school clothes with scissors like that time ONE OF YOU CAME HOME WITHOUT THE LEGS OF YOUR PANTS — is that a good idea?
A: No.

Q: Do we do anything AT ALL involving comedy and a toilet?
A: No.

And so: If you do decide to be a stripper, a bounty hunter, or a mime — be a brave stripper; a kind bounty hunter; a wise mime. Do your best, always.

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Seven Things Champions Do

If you must become one of lives true champions then Developing the Championship Mindset is a must for you; Here are Seven of such mindsets that will change your life forever;

(1) Champions are Committed- Commitment means staying loyal to what you said you were going to do long after the mood you said it has left you. Without commitment success is impossible, Without commitment success is only a dream; Every champion has to take “hits”, but every champion has to stand through them and Keep fighting for their dreams

(2) Champions Never Quit – It only ends when you stop trying; Champions push through pain, they never stop fighting until victory comes; No reward comes without a risk, No success comes without a try, No victory comes without a fight: Never let the fear of failing keep you from succeeding; A true Champion will never give up on something he really wants. It’s difficult to wait, but more difficult to regret

(3) Champions Let Nothing Hold them back –
Dreams come true once your desire to achieve them becomes so strong that no obstacle has the power to hold you back. You will never feel the greatness of your full potentials, if you let your temporary struggles convince you that you can’t push through them. There’s so much ahead of you! Don’t let anything hold you back

(4) Champions Step Out – Your tomorrows will look no different from your today if you fail to step out of your comfort zone and make change happen in your life; Change will always seem like a “risk” to people who are comfortable in their current situations. A true Champion always step out against all odds; If you don’t, You will never know your true capabilities!

(5) Champions are Disciplined – Every champions gets good at saying a “No” to the things that don’t get them a “Yes” Success requires discipline, it involves staying true to your desire to succeed regardless of whatever comes or what every goes; it involves doing the things that moves you towards your purpose not the things that take you further away from it.

(6) Champions are Doers Not Talkers – Nobody is going to believe in what you say until they believe in what you do. Your actions give your words credibility. Respect is earned through what you do not through what you say! Champions back up their words with actions. Every action is harder than words!

(7) Champions Don’t Believe in Impossibility – Your impossible is still possible to someone else. The only things you can’t do are the things you think you can’t; Its time to stop giving the “impossible” an undeserved credit. Don’t be defeated by your thoughts when your ability can conquer the situation! Impossibility exist only in the mind; Stop letting your mind tell you what your body can’t do. Your limits are further than you think!

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi

Developing a Winning attitude

Dear friend; You were born to win and you were created to succeed; But if you must become one of life’s true winners you have to deliberately plan and prepare to win.”Rome indeed wasn’t built in a day” but bricks were laid by the day, so stop depending on time and stop waiting for tomorrow because all you have is now! Its time to develop the attitude of a winner and the mindset of champion; true winners train until they can win; true champions train until they cannot fail. Every Champion hate to lose more than they love to win; Winners don’t wait for chances, they take them. Its time to tell yourself you are through hiding from your fears, its time to tell yourself you are through letting your failures get the best part of you; Failure defeats losers, but it inspires winners. You may not be the strongest, you may not be the smartest, you may not even be the most skilled, But you still have to keep moving yourself forward; Soon you will leap over the final hurdle and land right at your finish lines; Strength doesn’t come from doing the things you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you couldn’t do. Its time to stand up, its time to step out and go be that true winner you were created to be. Your world awaits you!

written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi