A man falls in love with you because he knows he can be himself around you.
He falls in love with you because he feels SAFE expressing his innermost, private feelings with you.
He knows that you can handle your feelings. He can sense that. And because he senses that at the most unconscious level, he starts to long for your company, for your touch, for your affection. He may not even know why he feels this way.
All he knows is that there’s something special about you that he doesn’t feel with any other woman in his life. He wants to take you in his arms and keep you forever.
This Is What Happens To A Man…
This is the “secret psychology”
I say it’s a secret because it’s little-understood by women (AND men). It’s rare either you or he will know exactly WHY he feels mesmerized by you and wants to get close to you and pursue you for something serious and long-lasting.
Many of us are wrong about why a man falls in love.
We think a man needs sex, or has to have a fabulously gorgeous woman with a great body. We think a man falls for us because we’re sweet to him, and kind, and giving. ESPECIALLY giving.
So we do things for him:
We cook lovely meals and offer deep, thoughtful advice on whatever troubles him. We light candles whenever he comes over. We put on our sexiest clothes and buy lacy lingerie.
We become exclusive with him without even a passing thought to what WE want, or whether or not he has met our needs yet for a secure, loving and committed relationship.
We give our bodies, our souls, our minds to him.
And STILL he tells us that he’s not sure how he feels. Or he becomes distant and moody. Or he stops calling or asking us out as often as he used to.
Or he does something very hurtful, or cheats on us, or tells us that he doesn’t believe you’re “meant” to be together.
This happens because deep down, you didn’t trigger love in his HEART. You didn’t connect on the deepest, most intimate level… his feelings.
So, How Do You Connect With A Man’s Feelings?
I’ll tell you briefly what DOESN’T connect to him.
When you tell a man about what you think about the relationship, or what you did that day, or what you think of the latest news you’ve read or the gossip at work, he listens. He participates in the conversation.
But his feelings aren’t triggered.
And so you chatter on about your life, but leave out the one part that would drop you suddenly into intimacy: Emotions.
You share everything but who you are.
You put up walls with him without even knowing you’re doing it. You decide not to tell him the sorrow you felt that morning about something. You omit admitting how the spring air made you feel alive and free when you went for a walk at lunchtime.
Or… you actually don’t even pay attention to your own emotions. You’re too busy with your to-do lists and tasks and with the chatter of everyone else around you in your life. You worry a lot. You make plans in your head for the next moment, the next day, or the weekend.
But if you were to allow yourself to FEEL what you’re feeling, and then speak from those feelings, you would make him feel safe and connected to you.
written by Ibrahim Gana Malgwi